the orb

Trump Touched an Orb and He Liked It

Nothing weird going on here.
May 22, 2017, 3:21pm

In Donald Trump's 121 days in office, he's been accused of colluding with the Russian government, trying to cover up an FBI investigation of said collusion, and championing a healthcare plan that stands to take away coverage from millions of low-income Americans. But somehow he didn't look really evil until he stood next to a mysterious orb at the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in Saudi Arabia.


As the internet exploded with orb memes and orb dreams, it became apparent that there's no explanation for what the orb is or why it takes three men to operate. According to one orbsplainer, "During the center's opening ceremony, the leaders placed their hands on the globe in a gesture of solidarity to launch the center."

Sure. OK.

Questions reman: Is the orb hot or cold? Are its powers good or evil? Will the orb save us, or bring everything crashing down? Above all, what was going through Trump's mind when he touched it? Seriously, look at him:

On the same trip, Trump finalized a $110 billion arms deal with the Saudi government, and his daughter Ivanka picked up $100 million from Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates for a World Bank fund for women entrepreneurs. (It's illegal for women to drive in Saudi Arabia.)

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