While it seems that nobody but your smug friends with seven Excel spreadsheets and military-grade co-ordination actually got tickets last week, the wheels for Glastonbury 2020 are firmly in motion. Next year will be the festival's 50th anniversary, and already it seems like House Eavis are doing everything in their power to make it an extremely large one.
Though no headliners have so far been announced (Taylor Swift's recently announced 2020 tour dates were a bit of a spoiler, with Very Mysterious gaps during the 26th to 28th of June, 2020 Glasto run; elsewhere, Paul McCartney and Fleetwood Mac are fancied by bookies), this morning the announcement was made for next year's Sunday daytime Legends slot, which sees an iconic performer playing their greatest hits to people on the biggest hangovers of their year, literally all of whom are crying in gratitude.
It's…………. Diana Ross.
As someone who doesn't have a ticket yet, my personal response to this news was "fuck's sake", but only because that booking is so ridiculously good. When Glastonbury say "Legends", they're not messing.
Previous Legends sets have included last year's performer, Kylie Minogue, as well as Dolly Parton and Shirley Bassey, all of whom have gone on to be lauded as highlights of the weekend. The high glamour and sheer largesse of Ms Ross' back catalogue means that the same and more will be true for 2020. Dancing to "I'm Coming Out" while you're sunburned, blistered and only have one day left until a grotty coach takes you back to your shit normal life? I can only dream of it.
When they went on sale last week, Glastonbury tickets sold out in 34 minutes. For those who missed out, there’s a resale in April, or the option of pivoting to a career in the music industry over the course of the next six months. For the privilege of having a pseudo-religious experience when Diana Ross plays "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"? Worth it.