This Bizarre Government Quiz Tells You What Job You Should Retrain for

Loads of people have lost jobs in the coronavirus pandemic, with plenty of furloughed workers in the arts and hospitality industries looking down the barrel of redundancy. It’s a terrible time, but hey – the good folks in the British government are here to give a right good bloody hand of help.

A beta website launched on the National Careers page of the gov.uk website aims to advise users on roles they should apply for or retrain in.

The government hasn’t yet announced the existence of this page – it appeared after being spotted by Twitter user @RafaellaMarcus – but it’s easy to assume it exists to highlight new roles in the face of COVID-related job losses. Rishi Sunak, the guy who looks after Britain’s money, has been telling people from “all walks of life” that they will have to adapt to new roles in challenging times.

So, great news then, that the government have released a helpful tool that tells people jobs they should think about training for. How do you try it out?

– Navigate to this website

– Fill in the questionnaire (it takes about five mins)

– Bingo, your results arrive in the form of job suggestions

My results told me that I should try and become an amateur or professional “boxer”, which sounds very exciting (can’t wait to see you in the ring @Tyson_Fury). Other VICE staffers have been getting extremely worthwhile suggestions by the boatload, should anyone want to pivot from writing and reporting about gak and politics to something else.

For VICE UK Staff Writer Lauren O’Neill, it’s a trip straight down to the fun fair to take on the role of “fairground worker”. Culture Editor Emma Garland has been told she could be a “horse groomer”, with a max salary of £16,000 a year. Platform Editor Jack Cummings got a job suggestion as a “dog handler” while VICE Global News Senior Editor Dipo Faloyin has been told it’s the acting life for him (good luck on getting that Oscar, mate!).

As you can see, lots of great suggestions. Living in the UK is a good laugh, innit.

@RyanBassil