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Vice Blog

FASHION ISSUE EXTRA - FASHION-FORWARD AT BREAKNECK SPEED


While perusing my latest Sky Mall catalog (my newest obsession), I came across the handy travel neck brace that allows you to go in and out of napping on the plane without bobbing your head every few minutes, avoiding any confusion that your fellow passengers may have of your physical ability to open the side passenger safety doors in case of an emergency. This got me thinking about an interview I recently read in the July 27th, 1978 (issue no. 270) of Rolling Stone with none other than so-called punk-goddess-deity Patti Smith, titled Visions of Patti. In the same article, and what I like to believe the same breath, Smith verifies, that yes, she does indeed masturbate to photos of herself as well as the Bible, along with the horribly progressive-slash-not-progressive quote, "If anyone qualifies to be a nigger, it's Mick Jagger," and that yes, she did fall off stage in Tampa, Florida, in 1977 and broke her neck, earning her some much needed time off. Personally, I think that the only positive thing that stint earned her was a kudos for making neck braces seem cool and maybe some mint chocolate chip ice cream form the hospital.

It's not like I hate or even dislike Patti Smith, it's that so many people seem to worship her as the second coming of punk-Christ. With that said, if fashion designer Ann Demuelemeester's wet dreams really only consisted of the fashion that is Patti Smith, then why haven't I seen any designer neck braces from her collections? Come on Ann, take a hot tip from a hot chick (and Sky Mall) and bring the neck brace back!

ARI FISH