God Bless The West

No one cares about the Old West. There was a time when people cared, but that was 1988. That is when everyone stopped caring. The Old West was a time before people danced in unison on awards shows, and this is part of the difficulty many of us have with the Old West. Another problem is the dust. Everything was dustier there and then, and this is a subject which enrages many people. For centuries I swam in the air above your ancestors, wishing ill upon them, throwing my wind into their veins and causing them discomfort. But then I found some peace in knowing how to jump over hurdles while running. The other problem with the Old West, and the reason, perhaps, why the Old West no longer shoots lightning through our spines, is the lack of felt. Felt was invented in 1932, as a byproduct of the early NASA efforts to orbit a rocket around the Earth. After felt was known, citizens of this country, and of the countries whose moods are tied closely to ours, were happy. But before felt, there was a certain ennui, bordering on bloom. And people would rather not remember those times. LUCY THOMAS