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Shook One

Can you believe the man who holds the 1992 Guinness record for the world's fastest rapper has never been anywhere?

Photo by Peter Beste

Can you believe the man who holds the 1992 Guinness record for the world's fastest rapper has never been anywhere? While his buddies Jay-Z and Freeway released songs like "All Around The World" and "International Hustler," and his mentor Dame Dash became the Euro icon who made Becks a cuckold, Chicago's spitfire lyricist spent his career shelved in record-company vaults. Then he decided to drop the greatest song of the year and blew up faster than you can say, "tiggida-tiggida-tiggida-tiggida-tongue Twista." Indeed, the Kanye West–assisted "Slow Jamz," an ode to jheri-curl romance, is the best display of quadruple-time flow since Bone Thugs' "Crossroads." Thanks to that, Twista is tongue-flipping his way to worldwide superstardom. But first he's got to take the plane. VICE: So you've never been outside the country. What's the first place you'd like to tour?
Twista: Man, I want to go to Canada. I heard that's where the people are really free and polite. I heard French girls are real friendly, too. In these other countries, people seem happy, like they just came up, like somebody blessed them or something. I know a lot more things that's more legal over there too. It just seems like the aura is better. It's okay, but it isn't like you can smoke weed on the streets and all the girls are beautiful wives with tiny feet who give perfect BJs.
As long as it's not some place where a war be going on, I'm down to go. Just don't take me to no deep, dark places where niggers disappear, like the Bermuda Triangle. I hate to tell you, but the Bermuda Triangle isn't real. Why do you think you're so afraid of other places?
Well, Cali is real tripped out when you go through all those mountains and shit. Personally, I ain't finna do too much mountain climbing or no skiing. I can't do the Sonny Bono. New Orleans makes me nervous, too—I mean, them little streets is cool for that old-school feel, but after a while it gets kind of crazy. Like, down in Mississippi you might be walking down the streets and find snakes right next to you. I don't fuck with that. That's why I got to be on some land, not some swamp shit. I don't want to be around no animals, either––no cats, no dogs. I ain't feeling it. No jungle-type shit. No strange monkeys, none of that. Twista's album Kamikaze is out on Atlantic Records.