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Cry-Baby of the Week

This week: Outraged 'Human Centipede' mother vs. Oreo homophobes.

Let's all LOL in the faces of a couple of whiney wimps.

Cry-baby #1: Fearn Cranston


The incident: A woman's 12-year-old son somehow ended up watching the trailer for The Human Centipede at his school.

The appropriate reaction: Nothing. Maybe, if he wanted to see it on the basis of the trailer, telling him that it's not worth it 'cause the full movie fucking sucks (it really, really does).

The actual reaction: As always with the people featured in this column, she sold her story to The Sun. Not that her story is even really a story. The headline says "SICK HORROR FLICK SHOWN TO CLASS OF 12-YEAR-OLDS." Which, obviously, would suggest a horror film was shown to a class of children. What actually happened was this:


"A teacher at The Regis School in Bognor Regis, West Sussex, had allowed the youngsters to watch a video from YouTube using an interactive white board.

"But when a pupil selected the trailer from sick horror flick The Human Centipede, the children sat and watched a frightening clip of a mad scientist chasing down innocent victims."

The trailer. The fucking trailer. And it was selected by a pupil. And look at the mom's fucking face! She phoned the school to complain, too: "I phoned the school and they called me back apologizing but it’s not good enough."

Which begs the question: What would be good enough? The class were "left terrified," apparently.

Isn't sitting around and showing each other gross shit from the internet what 12-year-olds have been doing all day at school since the invention of smart phones? I'm pretty sure her son is going to find it a lot more traumatic when the kids from school see this and he is literally bullied out of existence.

Cry-baby #2: One Million Moms and Other American Internet Homophobes


The incident: To celebrate the fact that it's OK to advertise to gay people now, Oreo posted the above image to their Facebook.

The appropriate reaction: Clicking "Like" on it if you like it. Otherwise, nothing.

The actual reaction: Predictably, as this story involves America, the internet and gay stuff, people lost their fucking minds. Here's a sampling of some of the comments the post recieved:


Eugh. Those professional trolls Millions of Moms (the ones who got all annoyed about Ellen a few months ago) did something, too. But I don't wanna give them a hit by looking on their site to see what it was. So who knows.

So who is the biggest cry-baby? Let us know in the poll below so that we can shame one of these self-serious pussies forever:

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previously: Brooklyn Water Balloon Hating Mom VS. That Kid from the Placebo Album Cover

Winner: Brooklyn Water Balloon Hating Mom!!

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT