This story is over 5 years old.


Drunk Soccer is the Best Soccer

Drunk Soccer looks exactly like you'd imagine it would.

Above, we have a video on YouTube that was uploaded with a brief caption that reads "drunk people playing football." Sometimes the simplest description is the best and most accurate. The concept is straightforward: a group of people got extremely fucked up, and then tried to play soccer. But there is a catch. You didn't have to just get extremely fucked up and play, you had to maintain that level of fucked-upedness for the entire game.

Before the match could even start, both teams had to have an average BAC of 1.0, so the first few minutes of the video shows a raging party. People funneled beer, chugged liquor, smashed pizza into other people's faces, and then went out to play. Once the game started there was a sort of reverse WADA official on the field who was charged with making sure everyone's blood was still doped. Anytime a goal was scored, the scorer was administered a breathalyzer exam, and if he blew less than a 1.0, the goal was disallowed. The deficiency was remedied, usually with tequila.

As you can imagine, it made for some interesting play.

As with other sports, the most impressive thing about Drunk Soccer is the athletes' dedication to the game. One guy went so hard in pregame that he puked before the match even started. And they all kept pounding liquor—doing anything they could to stay on the field and help the team—every one of them a full kit wanker, too.