Kids these days, right? They can't ditch their networks even for a moment; they're so hooked on Twitter they tweet from the toilet. They 'Like This' while they void their bowels. They really do. A new report is out, and it shows that a third of all American youth are already using social media extensively while they're in the bathroom.Everyone's poring over this new 'How-we-use-social-media-in-modern-America' study thatNielson just put out, and Will Oremus points us to the good stuff:"You've got gender disparities in the amount of time spent on social media," he writes in Slate. "You've got the rise of Twitter as a second screen . You've got Pinterest as the fastest-growing social network . But most importantly by far, you've got nothing short of a paradigm shift in how Americans use the bathroom. Yes, according to Nielsen, 32 percent of young Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 report that they engage in social networking while on the pot."Yep! One third of young America is checking Facebook on the can. They're on the pot, and they're tweeting. Hopefully just not about what they ate.Which seems pretty earth-shaking-we're online! While we shit! We're connected to a vast network of strangers and our peers, engaging them while we grunt obscenely and apply internal pressure to our sphincters and emit foul odors. Is nothing sacred? Shouldn't we be ashamed of ourselves, even if we're behind the great digital two-way mirror while it all goes down?Naw, because on the one hand, this isn't much of a change at all. We have always read in the bathroom, and we have alway read idly. It's not War and Peace that rests atop the porcelain throne, it's an old Calvin and Hobbes collection. Scanning social media networks is the most common way to idly peruse these days; it's full of eminently digestible half-baked commentary, links to various errata, off-the-cuff jokes, etc.Remember those goofy tomes that could be found in the bathrooms of the more lighthearted members of your peer group; those Great American Bathroom Books? They were chock full of humorous stories, quick factoids, and breezy essays, each expressly designed for consumption during a single ([marketing team-approved] ahem) sitting. Well, add in political ranting, and you've got yourself a prototype for an average Facebook feed.So to me, this trend makes sense-social media is simply the ultimate bathroom book. And more and more of us will continue to pick it up while we plunk down.
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