Pull up a chair, kid. Back in my day, when you were just a twinkle in your mother’s eye, we, too, used to do Dry January, alright—we, too, knew when it was time to take a month off from our steady diet of jalapeño margaritas and picklebacks (hey, it was the 2010s!). But you know what we had, in terms of options? Nothin’. La Croix hadn’t even really taken off yet, and we just sat around sober as a judge all of January, our eyes glistening as we dreamt of gin-and-tonics, and the days on the calendar seemed to fall away at an agonizingly slow pace. CBD wasn’t even legal yet, and we were not yet acquainted (much less overacquainted) with the word “adaptogens.” We’d just bounce a ball against the wall with a paddle, nary a drink in our hand. It’s not like these days. You’ve got it easy.
Now, there are so many new non-alcoholic spirits and herbal cocktails hitting shelves that it’s hard to keep track. In the last 5 years, we’ve seen a veritable explosion in the booze-free booze industry, with everything from calorie-free faux tequila to bitter spirits infused with magic stress-reducing compounds and other silly little ingredients that make you go oooh. Here’s our rundown of some of the most intriguing new kids on the block.
Kin Euphorics leads the pack when it comes to branding that makes you feel some type of way, lauding its botanical-packed bevvies as “euphorics for humankind.” While they might not pack quite the euphoric punch of, oh, I don’t know, rolling on pure MDMA during M83’s set at Coachella 2012, the drinks do integrate proven stress-reducers and feel-good compounds like L-theanine, L-tryptophan, and 5-HTP, plus lots of flavorful herbs and fruit extracts that you’d find in your favorite aperitifs and digestifs, like orange peel and citrus. High Rhode is caffeinated and is more of a bitter spirit (great for mixing with seltzer), while Dream Light has soothing ginger, passionflower, and bourbon vanilla for winding down at the end of the night.
Kin Euphorics spirits, $39 a bottle, at Kin Euphorics.
We wrote about Seedlip, the world’s first non-alcoholic distilled spirit, all the way back in 2016 when it first launched (everyone was calling it “non-alcoholic gin,” but founder Ben Branson likes to think of it as its own thing). At the time, it seemed like a wild idea, but it’s now clear that Branson was really on to something. Made with botanicals in copper stills and meant to be served with tonic, it’s definitely akin to the “g” word, but without the crushing hangover that makes you text all of your friends asking if you “said something stupid” last night. Now, Seedlip has expanded to a whole line of flavors, each with its own distinct aroma.
Seedlip spirits, $40 a bottle, at Food 52.
Unlike Seedlip, Drink Monday isn’t shy about calling its stuff “non-alcoholic gin.” Its juniper-forward ingredients list is pretty on-the-nose for what you’d seen with a traditional dry gin, with an added touch of cucumber, and it’s hand-crafted in small batches in Southern California. Plus, it has zero carbs and zero calories. (Traditional gin may look like water, but it’s about 110 calories per jigger.)
Drink Monday non-alcoholic gin, $40 a bottle at Huckberry.
When it comes to the hotshot new aperitif Ghia, we need to note right out the gates that the aesthetics are dazzling. The sparkles… the font… the sultry bottle topper… wowza. An alcohol-free play on amaro, Ghia’s signature drink starts with a base of riesling grapes—though it’s not the least bit saccharine—and builds complexity with layers of yuzu, elderflower, lemon balm, fig, and rosemary. It looks and tastes super high-end, but is on par with the others, or even a little cheaper, price-point-wise, at $33 a bottle. There are also some really great-sounding mocktail recipes on Ghia’s website, from the classic (a spritz) to the unexpected (a Ghia colada).
Ghia, $33 a bottle at Ghia.
Optimist makes distilled botanical spirits that are referential and familiar—a suggestion of mezcal, a persuasive note of gin—but wholly unique when it comes to flavor composition, almost like an expensive perfume. Our favorite from the line is their Smokey spirit, which combines extracts of earthy lapsang souchong tea with those of classic amaro bitters (orange, clove, angelica) and some decidedly less-obvious elements (jasmine, habanero, geranium), all synthesizing into a deeply nuanced and very sippable drink that is ideal with a splash of tonic. The only weird thing? It’s such a convincing spirit that you may feel surprised when you find yourself not even the least bit tipsy by the bottom of your glass. Also a plus: Optimist donates a portion of its sales to programs that provide youths access to mental wellbeing services.
Optimist Botanicals distilled non-alcoholic spirits, $35 at Optimist.
Curious Elixirs calls its products “booze-free cocktails,” meant to be ready to drink straight up or on the rocks. If you’re wondering if they just taste sweet and syrupy, like ginger ale or something, the answer is no—they are as complex, and pack the bite, of a signature drink at a high-end cocktail bar. Elixir No. 1, for instance, is modeled after a negroni, with gentian root for bitterness, lemon peel and bitter orange for acidity, and pomegranate juice for sweetness. Other varieties, like the cucumber-forward Elixir No. 3, contain allegedly beneficial herbs like ashwagandha, used in Ayurvedic medicine to reduce stress. Serve them in a fancy glass with a wedge of citrus, and you might not even miss the buzz.
Curious Elixir No. 1, $35 for 4 bottles (8 cocktails) at Curious Elixirs.
Ritual Zero Proof
Unlike all of these new-school herbal infusion type drinks, Ritual Zero Proof is set on the simple goal of mimicking the flavor of traditional liquors, using water, natural flavoring, and a couple of other basic science-fair ingredients (citric acid, yadda yadda). That’s it. No fancy adaptogens, no lesser-known fruits, no copper stills—Ritual is here to make fake tequila that allows a booze-free margarita to taste like a margarita, minus the calories. Sounds pretty weird, but apparently it’s “the highest-rated nonalcoholic spirit in the world,” according to the Beverage Testing Institute and we’re, at the very least, intrigued.
Ritual Tequila Alternative, $26.99 a bottle, from Ritual Zero Proof.
Lyre’s makes a whole line of non-alcoholic spirits in the style of whiskey, gin, rum, Kahlua, aperitifs, vermouth, and even absinthe. Sounds ambitious, but they’re all very highly rated, with Italian Orange (the Campari sub) being the cream of the crop. We’re dying to try the faux absinthe—though we might miss the hallucinating-in-19th-century-Paris vibe—but sadly, it’s sold out for the time being.
Lyre’s Italian Orange, $36 at Uncommon Goods.
Spiritless is all in on replicating the flavor of bourbon, which, frankly, it’s hard to imagine enjoying in ample quantities without waking up to regrettable text messages and an Instagram story you hope no one has watched. But folks, it’s Dry January! We don’t have to worry about that! With notes of oak, smoke, and vanilla, Kentucky 74 is meant to be used 1:1 anywhere you’d use your favorite whiskey. Non-alcoholic whiskey is kind of a mindfuck, but what isn’t in 2020? (Oh right, it’s 2021 now.)
Spiritless Kentucky 74, $36 a bottle at Huckberry.
Based in the Netherlands, Fluère hopes to be the top-shelf choice when it comes to non-alcoholic spirits. Its website describes its products as “a Non-Alcoholic luxurious spirit for everyone who wants to live a more mindful life and at the same time refuses to compromise on anything,” which, OK. There’s a ginny type variety, a rummy one, and a raspberry-flavored gin alternative that is very, very pink indeed. How they taste remains a mystery to us for now, but the brand does ship worldwide if you’re curious.
Various flavors, €21.95 a bottle, at Fluère.
Made in Scotland, Feragaia is a unique, sugar-free spirit “made with land and sea botanicals.” What does that mean exactly? It starts with Scottish water (very important, of course) and integrates seaweed, bay leaf, chamomile, black currant, makrut lime, and even green tea and Ancho chile. It’s an eclectic mix, one that BBC describes as having “a winey, vermouth-type quality with refreshing citrus notes and a fiery finish”; it has also been described as “earthy,” “salty,” and “warm.” All of its packaging is recyclable, including the bottle cap, and the manufacturing facility sources ingredients locally whenever possible and practices composting. Obviously, Scotland is known for having good booze, so we imagine the same is true of its alcohol-free stuff.
Feragaia non-alcoholic spirit, $27.92 a bottle at The Whisky Exchange.
So who’s at the top of the pack, when it comes to booze-free booze? Guess it depends on what you’d order if you could squeeze through a crowd in a dimly lit bar right about now. Someday, folks. Until we’re vaxxed, it’s not a bad idea to give your liver a break.
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Check out the rest of our Dry January stories and ideas here.