There are few crimes more pathetic than stealing from Girl Scouts.
Recall the pair of unapologetic, nihilistic teens who famously stole cookie money right from the helpless hands of a nine-year-old girl because they wanted money for "just for anything" a few years ago. But as reprehensible as that crime was, it was almost sad in its pettiness and hastiness.
And to put it in perspective, it is nowhere near as bad as stealing $15,000 worth of actual cookies from the Girl Scouts, which is the accusation facing Leah Ann Vick, former troop leader for the Wilderness Road Chapter of the Girl Scouts. According to the Appalachian News-Express, Vick has been formally indicted by a grand jury in Pike, Kentucky on charges of felony theft.
State troopers reportedly became aware of the theft after a complaint was made by the Wilderness Road chapter. The alleged inside job would have taken place in February, when Vick showed up with her usual load of cookies. In the Girl Scouts, each chapter's bill for the cookies is only paid after their army of troops successfully sells them, since nine-year-old girls can't pay $15,000 up-front for obvious reasons.
That's when Vick went full Madoff and allegedly made off with the cookies. "She has never paid for any of them and anyone who has tried to contact her about them has not been able to contact her," said District Attorney Rick Bartley told the Appalachian News-Express. "The case was a little confusing because she may have picked up cookies for other groups. The ones that she did pick up, at least for her own troop, were never sold by the troop."
But it gets even weirder. Both Vick, who has multiple addresses, and the cookies she was entrusted with have yet to be found, according to Bartley. "It looks like she picked up the cookies and, now, she and the cookies have disappeared."
Ultimately, this story leaves us with more questions than answers. Like, how could someone steal from the Girl Scouts? Is there a Girl Scout cookie black market where one can unload this much cookie contraband? And finally, what on earth happened to the cookies and the woman charged with stealing them?
This has all the makings of a food crime mystery podcast. Stay tuned.