The NFL Schedule is Out and There Will be Terrible Games

One of the sacred rituals of August is looking forward to the football season with such longing that you sit around watching whatever other sports or Friends reruns you happen to be watching and thinking to yourself I would watch literally any football game rather than 'The One With Ross and the Plastic Bag He Gets His Face Stuck In." Then the football season starts and the Titans play the Jaguars and you laugh and laugh and, oh, you laugh at your silly, naive, August self. You do this every year.

The 2015 NFL schedule has just been released and it's a good time to prepare, so maybe this August you don't quite so quickly dismiss the possibility of a standalone game featuring the Buccaneers and Rams. Because that game is happening. Thursday, December 17th; buckle up.

Thursday Night Football is the biggest offender, obviously, for a whole host of reasons. Terrible teams, the quick turnaround from the previous week, the Jets playing multiple times—they're all factors. There is one three-week stretch of Thursday Night Football that has a chance to be just brutal. Feast your eyes upon this:

I mean, my God. There's always a chance these games wind up being good, and teams change drastically in the draft or via trade, but as it stands now, this is a motley crew. That Bills-Jets game has a legitimate chance to end 9-6. The Browns and Bengals is one giant traffic cone telling you to turn around, and I'm not even sure those other teams are actually in the NFL. The inverse is true of course, too. Titans-Jaguars could be the best game of the year and Steelers-Pats could be the worst game in the history of organized football.

This is exactly why making a production of releasing the schedule is so preposterous. We haven't even had the draft. Chip Kelly only has 17 quarterbacks on his roster; so much will change before any of this becomes relevant or even remotely interesting. But here it is, you lusty animals. Look it over and salivate over the better days to come. Just know, you will crave football this summer, pondering all kinds of Faustian bargains and months later a game will come along and make you regret everything. Probably while you watch it.