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Bournemouth Defeats Chelsea in a Glorious Victory

So, so sweet.

Oh, what sweet wondrous delights hath the Gods cooked up for us today? Seemingly one of the most delicious results from arguably the most fascinating two teams in the Premier League this season: Bournemouth and Chelsea. The final tally on the day for the two bottom-table-dwelling sides was 1-0 in favor of the recently-promoted Bournemouth—all at the complete and utter devastation to a Chelsea that have seen better centuries than this one.


Bournemouth started on a relative miracle streak, winning their third game to everyone's delight and coming up for what can only be described as a scintillating tie against Everton later on in the season. Though hopes were never so high as to expect Bournemouth in the Champions League next year, they've done well for themselves in their first-ever trip to the Premier League.

But more important: if you were to tell someone last year at the same time that Bournemouth would beat Chelsea, they would have laughed you out of their British manor, spilling tea all over themselves.

But here we are—after a completely disgraceful season that has seen Mourinho lose his cool, ad naseam, and a team of Chelsea would-be megastars look like horse parts for dog food—with a 3-8-4 Bournemouth holding their heads high as they exit Stamford Bridge. What a fantastical world we live in.