The Greatest Swing in History, and the Worst Inning: Dave Brown's Unscientific MLB Power Rankings

We've nearly reached the statistical midway point of the season, so let's get down to business doing what America does best: ranking stuff. Here are the top ten power brokers in Major League Baseball right this second:

1. Ronald Torreyes of the New York Yankees Executes the Greatest Swing in Major League History (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Really?! This is July. The dog days of August aren't supposed to start until, you know, next month.

2. Adam Wainwright Pulls a Johnson (LW: NR)

A Randy Johnson, that is. Not his own "randy" Johnson. And it was more like a near-Johnson.

Adam Wainwright was *this* close to pulling a Randy Johnson pic.twitter.com/poSdBkIjWb
— SI Extra Mustard (@SI_ExtraMustard) June 28, 2016

Oh, Adam Wainwright just missed destroying a bird in flight with a pitched ball, like Randy Johnson did once, famously:

3-T. Mike Trout and Jose Altuve (LW: Altuve NR)

2016 season:#Astros Jose Altuve .347/.425/.562#Angels Mike Trout .313/.411/.552 Altuve besting Trout in every aspect of the slash-line.
— Ryan M. Spaeder (@theaceofspaeder) June 28, 2016

Not only do they have the same OPS+ of 170; they fall down like brothers:

A few days earlier:

Squeezing Altuve's head must have been irresistible on Trout's part, but I bet Altuve didn't appreciate it. He's short, you know.

Mike Trout runs, Mike Trout falls, Mike Trout squeezes Jose Altuve's tiny head … pic.twitter.com/ejymVqNQq6
— Alden Gonzalez (@Alden_Gonzalez) June 28, 2016

"I'm not a dog's chew toy, you Giant Neck'd Man!"

Speaking of short, Trout also hit a home run that was about six inches off the ground:

It was the lowest pitch anyone has dingered since Freddy Galvis did this three years ago:

"That would have been right in Altuve's wheelhouse," Trout joked probably.

5. MadBum's Big Bat (LW: NR)

In a tactically questionable but enjoyable decision for everyone who likes fun, San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy decided to eschew the option of using a designated hitter and let everyone's favorite potential home run derby candidate, pitcher Madison Bumgarner, bat for himself at Oakland on Thursday. Bumgarner doubled in his first at-bat, a somewhat generous ruling by the official scorer after Billy Burns dropped a fly ball to center. He finished 1-for-4 with a run scored, and allowed four runs over six and a third innings in a Giants victory.

Who needs the DH, right? It's the first time in 40 years that a manager has, on purpose, declined the use of a DH. Ken Brett, of the Chicago White Sox, went 0-for-6 over two games in 1976. Andy Sonnanstine of the Tampa Bay Rays also hit for himself in 2009, but that happened because of a lineup card error by Joe Maddon. (Maddon's next mistake is scheduled for 2024.)

Here's one stat that, perhaps, got Bochy thinking:

#Nationals Bryce Harper
Last 180 AB: 7 HR#Angels Mike Trout
Last 180 AB: 10 HR#SFGiants Madison Bumgarner
Last 180 AB: 11 HR
— Ryan M. Spaeder (@theaceofspaeder) June 30, 2016

Of course, hitting isn't as simple as that. Bumgarner swings a mean stick, but it's still a mean stick for a pitcher. He's not as good a hitter as, well, any position player who was sitting on the Giants bench. But this was not, as some have opined, a bad idea due to the potential for injury. He's a baseball player, one who takes many at-bats in National League parks. This was about as risky as the Chicago Cubs putting Kyle Schwarber in left field. Kidding! It's also three or four plate appearances, what kids today call a "small sample." If the Giants lose the NL West to the Los Angeles Dodgers by one game because they had lost three or four plate appearances by Jarrett Parker, costing them this game against the A's, then you can tell everyone you told them so, Straw People.

Most of all, this is an exciting diversion over the 162-game grind. It's something different. He might hit a home run! It gives fans a chance to say, "Take your DH and stuff it, AL heathens." Or, "Bochy, your big head has zero good ideas."

The bad Bumgarner news emerging Thursday? The MLB players union apparently complained about him taking the spot of a rightful hitter in the home run derby, so Bumgarner won't be going. Son of a gunderson, that blows.

6. The Cleveland Indians' Winning Streak (LW: 10)

It probably has little to do with their embracing Jobu from Major League again, but the Indians have won 13 games in a row, equaling the longest streak in franchise history, also done in 1942 and 1951, or before the Rust Belt started rusting. They lead the AL Central by six games. Not to downplay the Cubs' accomplishments here, but when you look at Cleveland's starting pitching—Corey Kluber, Danny Salazar, Carlos Carrasco, Trevor Bauer, and Josh Tomlin—that alone makes a World Series victory seem quite possible.

7. Sonoma Stompers Prospects (LW: NR)

The independent league team, recently the subject of this book, signed two women to contracts, 17-year-old Kelsie Whitmore and 25-year-old Stacy Piagno. They'll be in the starting lineup Friday.

It's official! @KelsieWhitmore is a member of the Stompers! A historic day for baseball. pic.twitter.com/HdZAO9KfQg
— Sonoma Stompers (@SonomaStompers) June 29, 2016

Via a club statement:

"The Stompers, which are part of the independent Pacific Association of Professional Baseball Clubs, will be the first co-ed professional baseball team since the 1950s when Toni Stone, Mamie "Peanut" Johnson and Constance Morgan achieved the distinction of becoming the first women to play alongside men in the Negro Leagues."

The Sonoma Stompers were the team, you might recall, that signed right-hander Sean Conroy to a contract, making him (without realizing it at first, it turns out) the first openly gay player in professional baseball history. A difference this time: the Stompers definitely know they're signing women. Even if a woman never plays in the majors (and honestly, saying "never" seems far-fetched), if this encourages more girls to play baseball, then it's a great benefit to society.

None of this is even the best thing about the Sonoma Stompers, though—it's that their GM's name is Theo Fightmaster.

8. Kris Bryant's Prospects (LW: NR)

Bryant hit three home runs and added two measly doubles Monday night, raising his career OPS by 19 points and establishing an NL MVP narrative in a victory against the Cincinnati Reds. Nobody in MLB history since 1913 had ever had box score with three homers and two doubles, much less done it with so much sparkle in his eyes. (Although Shawn Green did hit four home runs, a double, and a single in a game in 2002.) The throng of Cubs fans at Cincinnati's Great American Ball Park called for a curtain, but Bryant wisely declined as a visiting player.

9. Kirby Yates' GPS (LW: NR)

Last week, Michael Taylor had the Game of the Year to Forget by striking out five times and botching a single by Yasiel Puig and transforming it into a game-ending Little League home run. Well, what Taylor did over nine innings, Yankees right-hander Kirby Yates tried squeezing into one. After an epic rain delay, Yates hit three batters in a ninth-inning meltdown Monday that greatly assisted the Texas Rangers coming back for a 9-6 victory. Yates' wayward behavior was historic:

#Yankees Kirby Yaytes is the first pitcher to hit three batters in the ninth inning of a game since #Braves Ray Boggs on Sept 17, 1928.
— Ryan M. Spaeder (@theaceofspaeder) June 28, 2016

Not just individually historic, either:

Make that 115-1 https://t.co/PiWPF14nYC
— Marly Rivera ~ ESPN (@MarlyRiveraESPN) June 28, 2016

More bad news for ol' Kirb, who will have to find his command in the minors: the Yankees demoted him. Good news: Yates is from Kauai, the best of the Hawaiian Islands. Bad news: No more, that's it.

10. Clayton Kershaw's K/BB Ratio (LW: 5)

Oh, the horror! Kershaw issued two walks against the Pittsburgh Pirates in his most recent start Sunday night, and was so distraught that he had to be put on the disabled list. Or maybe being DL'd was because of a back injury that required an epidural injection. Kershaw won't return until after the All-Star break, and his absence might break the Dodgers season.

Kershaw had made 15 starts in 2016 without walking two batters until he gave a pair of free passes (one intentional) to Sean Rodriguez. Kershaw's K-to-BB ratio is 145-9 (about 16-1), which is still awe-inspiring but far less magical than 20-something-to-1, which is where he was before losing control. The season record, currently held by Phil Hughes with 11.63-to-1, is still Kershaw's to lose once his back feels better.

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