"Would you rather shit a brick or cry a glass?"
"Would you rather eat chocolate-flavored shit or shit-flavored chocolate?"
These are two of the several mind-numbingly fucked questions that made up what has to be the most awkward and inappropriate interview to have ever taken place in the history of fast-casual chain restaurants. Or the history of restaurants. Or maybe even the history of jobs.
It all went down in the English city of Derby, where 18-year-old Daniel Dougherty was left utterly dumbfounded during a job interview earlier this month at a local TGI Friday's.
But if you think those questions were bad, how about this doozy: Dougherty was also asked, "Would you rather watch your parents have sex for a year or join in just for the start?"
Yes, folks, alarms are going off in human resources departments the world over: We have a winner for most fucked up interview question ever. Dougherty said he was so "gobsmacked," that after several absurd questions, he stood up and left the interview.
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Dougherty, an engineering student, alerted the media and told reporters, "I'd already had a successful phone interview and I was really looking forward to this." Although it's not clear at the moment what exact position Dougherty was applying for, The Daily Mail reported that it was a part-time weekend role.
The interviewer—and presumably the mastermind behind these twisted questions—is believed to be a bartender, who was promptly suspended by Friday's and has since left his job there.
But don't think that the interview was only filled with trauma-inducing questions; those who took part in the open call also had to contend with challenges like balloon-making.
What's worse?: trying to make a dachshund out of a balloon, or visualizing your parents in flagrante delicto? But the TGI Friday's outlet in Derby is pretty sure it's the latter. The restaurant has since apologized to Dougherty and offered him the chance to redo his interview—a proposition the teen isn't keen to accept. "I'm definitely not taking the offer of their second interview, and I probably won't go there to eat either."
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A spokesperson for TGI Friday's provided MUNCHIES with the following statement: "Fridays offers an industry-leading recruitment process, and this incident fell severely below our high standards. The questions posed during the interview with the candidate are absolutely not part of TGI Friday's interview process and we were very disappointed to learn of this incident. The person was immediately suspended and has since left the business."
We're pretty damn sure that Dougherty will never be able to think about the day Friday in the same light again, let alone the chain itself.