A New Jersey pizzeria has cracked the code and invented the ultimate stoner food—an unholy amalgam of pizza and tacos that will set you back $10 for a single slice and $80 for a pie.
It all started one day when Michael Hauke—the owner of Tony Baloney's, with locations in both Hoboken and Atlantic City—was manning the counter in Hoboken. He says a bunch of stoned kids came in and made their needs known: "They were like, 'Yo, dude. Make us some tacos.'"
Hauke tried to set the kids straight, in a manner of speaking: "I said, 'Dude, this is Tony Baloney's. We do pizza and subs.'"
But some people know what they want. Hauke says the kids insisted on tacos, reminding him that it was, in fact, Taco Tuesday. Hauke was persuaded and a masterpiece was born.
Each slice of Tony Baloney's taco pizza—found on their not-so-secret "secret menu"—contains no fewer than three tacos. And we're not talking about crappy Velveeta and cheap, chopped-meat tacos. We're talking serious tacos, which contain the likes of Buffalo chicken, mezcal-marinated sirloin steak, or smoked bacon with fresh mozzarella—all folded into tortillas and gloriously placed atop a delicious pizza.
Following the advent of the taco pizza, Tony Baloney's is now inundated with customers seeking the Frankenpie of guacamole and mozzarella. Hundreds of people now show up on Tuesdays and are willing to wait long periods for a (pricey) taste. "We have 286 on pre-order last I checked," Hauke said recently. "Thirty, 40 waiting for slices. Maybe 360 pies by the end of the day."
Given that Hoboken is just across the Hudson from Manhattan, it's not surprising that the only way to eat an enormous taco-pizza slice is to fold it and stuff it, by hand, into one's eagerly awaiting gob.
Eighty bucks a pie? C'mon. Some things are priceless.