Are you one of those Silicon Valley workaholics who is simply too busy developing an emerging solution for crowdsourcing platforms to eat actual human food?
Well, you've probably heard tell of Rob Rhinehart's Soylent, a powdered blend of vitamins and minerals that replaces the pesky problem of ingesting whole-food meals.
But if you're the kind of start-uppy techie who is truly too busy to eat solid matter, then you're probably too busy to prepare yourself a milky, flavorless shake each morning.
Well, thank that big thought leader in the sky, because Soylent 2.0 has arrived, and it's bottled for your pleasure. Or "engagement," or whatever.
For a mere $29 per month, you'll get 12 minimalist bottles filled to the brim with highly nutritious vegan pablum made from soy protein, algal oil, isomaltulose (don't worry, it's derived from honey), and a Vitamin Shoppe's worth of micronutrients. Unlike the powdered version, this one doesn't contain oat flour or sunflower oil. Best of all for your end-of-days lean-to, it's got a one-year shelf life.
Bad news for those of you on the Goop diet: It's not organic, certified kosher, GMO-free, nor gluten-free.
As Rhinehart told VICE in 2013, however, Soylent isn't for the "organic foodie" crowd: "Some people seem very invested in the idea of the sanctity of nature and natural food and some idyllic view of farming, so they find this idea very offensive. I don't think that's an evidence-based viewpoint. There's no evidence organic food is healthier than conventional food, and you just can't feed the world without efficient farming techniques."
His company has certainly struck a nerve among a certain subset of the population that prioritizes functional food over flavor, and even inspiring imitation products like Schmoylent and Schmilk. (It's also received a whopping $24.5 million in funding to date. Not exactly small potatoes, even if potatoes are anathema to Soylent.) And while it might be slightly more expensive per 400-calorie serving than retiree favorite Ensure, it's got a more balanced nutritional profile and claims to provide "an even, sustained release of energy, without spikes or crashes."
If you're the kind of person who's inclined to skip the occasional meal (or hell, all of them!), that's all you really need to hear.