2. One thing that’s really important to do during the grieving process of a love that has ended is to really focus on yourself to figure out what you did wrong, so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Communication is important too, so each time you think of something having to do with you, the relationship, how you’re cutting yourself again, etc., make sure to email it posthaste to your ex. You could start with a message like, “I just threw all of your shit into the garbage, and now I’m masturbating to your Youtube videos!” And then five minutes later, follow up with, “I don’t understand why you’re not talking to me. I hate you!” They will appreciate knowing that you are out there thinking about them. Seal the deal by texting something sweet right before bed. Something like, “You better not be wearing that underwear I bought you for anyone else. I emailed your mom today. I love you so much.”3. Common sense will tell you that sooner or later, the person who you are holding a candle for (is that even the expression? lighting a flame for? whatever) will eventually start dating someone else. You cannot let this happen. Start up a regime of daily investigations on their blog, Facebook, Twitter, email account (if you’re able), and at the first sign of someone else, express your concern by saying that they’re fat. If you see a picture of some stranger on their blog, just immediately email the object of your affection and say, “I’ve seen the picture. Your new girlfriend is fat.” And then post a bunch of pictures of yourself on YOUR blog looking not fat.These things might not work right away, but you need to persist. I guarantee that after a month or so, you will start to find clues on your love’s blog that will be the proof you have been looking for. That post they made about corn muffins? Underneath the little ceramic bunny? You were right in thinking that was for you. You won!
FYI.
This story is over 5 years old.
2. One thing that’s really important to do during the grieving process of a love that has ended is to really focus on yourself to figure out what you did wrong, so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Communication is important too, so each time you think of something having to do with you, the relationship, how you’re cutting yourself again, etc., make sure to email it posthaste to your ex. You could start with a message like, “I just threw all of your shit into the garbage, and now I’m masturbating to your Youtube videos!” And then five minutes later, follow up with, “I don’t understand why you’re not talking to me. I hate you!” They will appreciate knowing that you are out there thinking about them. Seal the deal by texting something sweet right before bed. Something like, “You better not be wearing that underwear I bought you for anyone else. I emailed your mom today. I love you so much.”3. Common sense will tell you that sooner or later, the person who you are holding a candle for (is that even the expression? lighting a flame for? whatever) will eventually start dating someone else. You cannot let this happen. Start up a regime of daily investigations on their blog, Facebook, Twitter, email account (if you’re able), and at the first sign of someone else, express your concern by saying that they’re fat. If you see a picture of some stranger on their blog, just immediately email the object of your affection and say, “I’ve seen the picture. Your new girlfriend is fat.” And then post a bunch of pictures of yourself on YOUR blog looking not fat.These things might not work right away, but you need to persist. I guarantee that after a month or so, you will start to find clues on your love’s blog that will be the proof you have been looking for. That post they made about corn muffins? Underneath the little ceramic bunny? You were right in thinking that was for you. You won!
