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Terrible TV Show Ideas for the Worst TV Channel Ever

Please, makers of "Best Funeral Ever", give me a job.

You guys are aware of TLC, right? You know, that American cable channel that started out as an educational station, but now serves up programmes like Dancing Tweens, Fabulous Cakes, My 600 Pound Life, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and Honey, We're Killing the Kids? Well, above is a clip from a new TLC show called Best Funeral Ever. Which, as far as I can tell, is actually a real show that really exists. It's been quite some time since I have been able to describe something as "literally jaw-dropping", but that video is literally jaw-dropping.

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After the massive success of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo being driven, in part, by the initial online outrage over its trailer, it seems TLC is now just attempting to make shows that could be described as "the worst fucking idea of all time". And, other than the fact that this means you're gonna have to listen to a bunch of whiney people make jokes about how TLC "actually stands for The Learning Channel", that's kind of amazing. I'm excited to see where they can go with it.

Actually, does anyone have any contacts at TLC? I would really like to be their head of programming. Can you imagine how fun that job would be? Here are some new TLC shows I just thought up off the top of my head. If you're reading this TLC, consider it my job application:

- Really Fat People Eating Really Gross Stuff in Slow Motion

- Deaf People Describing Farts

- Who's Da Baby Daddy?

- The Lady Who Played Janice On Friends Shouting at Stuff

- Surprise, It's Terminal!

- The Most Glamorous Rape Ever

- Disemboweled Animals Do the Funniest Things

- Fat Bitches Falling Off of Shit

- The 90-Minute Monologue, with Gwyneth Paltrow

- Wuh-Oh! Your House Burned Down!

- Abortion Roulette

- Under the Microscope: Dingleberries

- Sudden Adult Death Syndrome :(

- Women of Twitter: Roseanne Barr

- Exhumation Makeover

- Same-Raced Parents, Mix-Raced Babies

- MILF Academy

- Slut With a PHD

- Homeless People Eating Stuff Out of Trash Cans: Appetite for Self-Destruction

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- Gunt Hunters

- Twitter Beef!

- 2-Hour Slot for James Franco to Do Whatever He Feels Like

- American Douchebag

- People Who Are Too Old for Spring Break On Spring Break

- Moms on Skateboards

- Pigeons Eating Fried Chicken Off the Ground

- White People Rapping When They Think No One's Watching

Despite what you might think, that list took me like, less than three minutes to think up. So think how many hit TV shows I could dream up if I was sat in a big office for eight hours a day getting paid thousands of dollars? Can someone hook me up with an "in"? Please? I'd hate to have to work my way up the ladder from "professional mourner".

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT