The Hangover News

Morbid Parties
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE GATHERED IN LONDON TO CELEBRATE THATCHER'S DEATH
Some called it distasteful, but no one at the party seemed to care

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Around 3,000 people got together in Trafalgar Square on Saturday to shout about how glad they are that Margaret Thatcher is dead.

The crowd was made up of members of the National Union of Mineworkers (NUM), people of all ages who don't like Thatcherism and – going by basically any piece of video footage from the event – middle aged men just happy to have a decent excuse to drink in public.

Plenty of staunch Thatcherites, right-wingers and left-wingers alike said that the celebration was insulting, but, obviously, no one in Trafalgar Square agreed with them, with one man present claiming that "it's important and cathartic for people to voice their dissent".

Police made nine arrests for public order offences, but – bar that – everybody was generally pretty relaxed, with most happy to bear the rain, bang their drums and shout, "Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! Dead! Dead! Dead" late into the night.

Things haven't been so relaxed in Northern Ireland, however, with five consecutive evenings of celebrations in Derry ending in violence, rioting and petrol bombs.

Extremist Attacks
ISLAMIST MILITANTS ATTACKED THE SOMALI SUPREME COURT
Members of Al-Shabaab set off bombs and shot at least 16 people dead

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At least 16 people have been killed after Islamist militant group Al-Shabaab stormed Somalia's supreme court in Mogadishu, firing guns and setting off explosions during clashes with security forces.

Witnesses say the armed militants forced their way into the building before instantly setting off an explosion and taking an unknown number of hostages.

Al Shabaab, who have ties to al-Qaeda, ruled Mogadishu, Somalia's capital, from 2006 until 2011, when they were pushed out by African Union and government forces. This attack marked the most damage the city has sustained since the rebels were ousted.

The Somali prime minister, Abdi Farah Shirdon, said the "pointless and pathetic act" would have no effect on the country's commitment to progress.

Questionable Curriculums
A TEACHER HAS BEEN SUSPENDED FOR GETTING HER STUDENTS TO THINK LIKE NAZIS
Weirdly, people don't like it when teenagers are made to write essays arguing that "Jews are evil"

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An unnamed high school teacher from New York state has been placed on leave after having their students assume the mentality of a Nazi.

In an assignment that was supposed to help them practice the art of persuasive writing, students were told to pen a letter to a fictitious official of the Third Reich arguing "that Jews are evil and the source of our problems".

Nazism presumably isn't something that teachers are encouraged to push on to their students, so the fact that the "veteran" teacher did so suggests they're either a misguided, innocent party or just not very good at concealing their personal ideology.

District superintendent Marguerite Vanden Wyngaard held a news conference to apologise for the assignment, saying that it wasn't malicious, but that "it displayed a level of insensitivity that we absolutely will not tolerate".

Mild Clinginess
THIS GUY SLEPT NEXT TO HIS DECEASED GIRLFRIEND'S BODY FOR SEVERAL DAYS
Which is vaguely sad and touching, but mostly horribly creepy and distressing

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Randall Johnson, a 44-year-old from North Carolina, allegedly slept in a bed next to his dead girlfriend's body for several days rather than report her death to the police.

Johnson reportedly told the family of the deceased woman, Carla Jean Baggett, that she hadn't left their bedroom because she was sleeping, smoking a cigarette or because she'd overdosed on Xanax, but "was OK".

Obviously all three of those are unbelievably terrible excuses, but they apparently worked for a number of days, until Baggett's mother slipped into the couple's bedroom and found her daughter.

Investigators say that they don't suspect foul play or that Johnson was involved in Baggett's death, however he has been charged with concealing a death from law enforcement and is going to have a really shitty time whenever people recognise him from the news and slowly back away/shout mean things at him.