Grimewatch

Top left: Ruff Squad at UMF, bottom left: Roll Deep at UMF, right: without the support of these teenage girls, Grimewatch wouldn’t exist. Photos courtesy RWD.

Apart from consuming weed intravenously and the very occasional rock, your average grime kid isn’t backing as much drugs as generations of ravers from years gone by. Until now. The kids up north are so bored with the house scene’s filtered glam rock, bad hairdos and blazers, that they’ve reclaimed 4/4 garage, speeded it up even more and are now dancing to it non-stop while necking any type of amphetamines they can get their filthy hands on. The result? Niche music. Also known as bassline house, it’s a million miles away from grime, but only about a 4KM drive from old skool garage. We thought we’d give it a mention cos Marcus Nasty is going crazy about it and told us he isn’t playing anything else, and other soft Southern shites are now starting to take notice. Remember where you heard it first.

Back in LDN, the only thing people are really addicted to is bars, and if you needed proof, you should have been at the Urban Music Festival.

While the main stage played host to a veritable schmorgasboard of piss poor C-list acts (Lil’ Jon wouldn’t come over ‘cos last time he was here someone tried to take his pimp cup, 50 and Snoop are too scared to come back after both getting bottled on stage and Nas is still shook from the shooting in Brixton. Aren’t all these fools supposed to be like, tough, or something?) RWD’s stage was the main draw of the day with the whole motherfucking grime scene passing through and drawing a bigger crowd at times than the main arena. There was no drama either, other than when Bionics and Ghetto tried to rush the stage during Firecamp’s set ‘cos they thought Flirta D was up there. When they realised he wasn’t there they ran off with ten kids following them and it looked like one of those dumb chase sequences from The Benny Hill Show. But the whole thing was a success and there have been nearly as many people saying RWD should run the entire event next year as there have saying “Will Smith was crap. I want my £35 back…”

Remember a few months back when Grimewatch launched a campaign to get Logan Sama a show on Kiss? It only went and fucking worked. He just did his last set on Rinse (big up Jammer, Roll Deep and Ruff Sqwad for repping) and is stepping up full time on Kiss 100 right about now. Show time is still unconfirmed but it’s going to be at like 2AM in the middle of the week or something. Now all we need is to get Cameo on Radio 1. Logan just put out RWD: The Mixtape Vol. 1 which has 42 tracks and 65 artists and is basically bottled grime. Loads of mixtapes have just landed, Shocking Volume 1 (Shola Ama got air at UMF and was well pissed off, Grimewatch heard her complaining she didn’t like grime and it didn’t suit her voice. Um…so why did you make three grime records then Shola? Was it an accident?), Essentials just dropped Essentials Heating Vol. 2 and Remerdee from the crew has his own tape called Public Demand (Let’s hope Public Demand records don’t find out, as they are basically the hardest record label in the UK and don’t like people stealing their name…). Sway has released This Is My Demo Vol. 2 which reaffirms his status as the most talented comedic genius MC since Slick Rick. Risky Roads 2 is nearly here; as is Lord of the Decks 3 and Koch Records (home of the Diplomats) are putting out a grime compilation with big boy DJ Semtex. So it’s all looking pretty good. Only bad thing we heard was last month, one of the majors started phoning all the grime artists trying to blackmail them into not putting material on certain tapes, so they didn’t affect the sales of the compilations they sell in Woolworths. But the grime kids are smart enough to know that the majors are about as relevant to underground music in the UK now as Kilroy is to politics, so they all ignored them and the streets are awash with hot tapes. Welcome to the free market, bitches!

And now to producers. Pete Tong was overheard in Brazil recently getting a stiffy about DaVinChe, he’s also playing Roll Deep’s stuff on Radio 1 to pill-munching trance fans. Respect. Talking of Roll Deep, Wiley got arrested the other week and the officer’s badge number was 666. Now I understand why he’s so paranoid. Jammer is making POWERMOVES right now. Powermove 1: A live album. Powermove 2: A line of sneakers. Powermove 3: He’s getting behind the buttons for Teedra Moses, Lil’ Jon, Common and Mos Def. And that’s about it. Oh, except this drunk guy in a bar in Grove told Grimewatch that Miquita from Popworld is making an album, and it’s going to be a new sound called Grime’n’b. We don’t know if it’s true, but Miquita definitely makes our bag tingle. And even if she doesn’t, Alex Mills, the vocalist from Roll Deep’s album, is just finishing a new grime AND funky house album. Together at last…

Woaah, stop the press: Kano, Ghetto and Demon have officially left N.A.S.T.Y. Crew. It was only a matter of time before Ghetto and Demon's endless touring with Kane while the rest of the crew never got a bring-in was gonna cause a ruck, and apparently, it has. Question is, can Lightning save the day and be the new leading light in the crew? Watch this space…