We're trying to get away from toilet humour but it keeps following us around like a bad smell. Hot on the heels of our investigation into parasomniac pissing, the plight of people suffering toilet phobia has us on the edge of our seats. At least four million Britons suffer from parcopresis, also known as bashful bowel syndrome, according to a new report by The National Phobics Society. It ranges from being a bit squeamish about public loos to being shit-your-pants scared (literally) of taking a dump outside your own bog, thus rendering them unable to ever leave home…An NPS spokesperson said: "Few people will talk about having an anxiety disorder in the first place, but for them to admit that they have a toilet-related phobia is rare because of the obvious embarrassment and humiliation of being laughed at or not being taken seriously."But no matter how funny we might find it, it's certainly no laughing matter. We have to tackle this condition head on."Does anyone know anyone with similar conditions?DOM TUNON