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I HAD BREAKFAST WITH A TERRORIST

March 28, 2011, 12:12pm

Two years ago when we were in the Alaskan Interior to shoot Far Out with Heimo Korth we contacted a few local members of the citizens sovereignty movements for a little side feature. One of those citizens was a chipper young man in a Newsies cap who was running for office in Fairbanks and had just started up a local chapter of the Second Amendment Task Force, a national organization of people who think guns are where it's at. His name was Schaeffer Cox.

We met Schaeffer in the back of the Northernmost Denny's in the world. Before we were allowed to talk to him, Schaeffer's tactical liaison Rufus Reed swept the restaurant for bugs and questioned us to make sure it wasn't a trap.

We interviewed him for almost an hour, paused to finish our Moons Over My Hammy, and then promptly forgot about the whole thing because, frankly, it was boring. Most of what he was saying was boilerplate Tea Party rhetoric, the "revolution" he claimed to be leading in Fairbanks was about 10-people strong, and he sort of struck us as a twerp. We left fully expecting to find him five years down the road struggling to stay awake through some thankless City Council position.

Well, imagine the egg & bacon Grand Slamwich on our face when we flipped on the news this week and saw Schaeffer and four of his cronies, now calling themselves the Alaska Peacemakers Militia, had been arrested for stockpiling weapons and plotting to kill state troopers. Also for plotting to make wanted posters of state troopers so that other troopers would accidentally arrest them.

It's like Schaeffer Cox read our thoughts through his little cap and bellowed out into the night, "Who's boring now?! Aroooooooooo!"

Here's a juicy little nugget from our chat.

BABY BALLS