Why is it you never see kids climbing trees any more? Deforestation and the internet, that's why. These factors are conspiring to destroy childhood. Now the people who usually complain about kids growing up too quickly are the fannies who throw a shit fit when couples dance too close at the school disco. But seriously, toddlers these days are completely out of control. A 3-year-old chain smoker? An elementary class full of drunks? A 4-year-old rock drummer? Wanking in kindergarden? Graduating from school at 10? WTF happened to the innocence of childhood?