If you’ve owned a bike in Toronto, chances are it's been jacked. Bike theft is rampant, and recently it’s been all over the news because of Igor Kenk, who got busted stockpiling over 3,000 stolen bikes (not to mention 70K worth of weed, crack, and coke). So what kind of asshole would take someone's bike? Well, someone like this.
Vice: Why do you steal bikes?
Bike Thief: Just urgency, or I’m too lazy to walk. I’m a jerk.
Who taught you?
My father bought me a long chain-link lock and made me wrap it around my bike. He showed me how he could steal it with bolt cutters and told me never to do that.
So he was showing you how to not get your bike stolen. What would he say if he knew?
Yeah, I told him and he didn't care. I was kind of surprised.
What’s the best bike you’ve stolen?
The one I have now. It's a Cambio. It’s really expensive.
Do you ever think about the people whose bike you’re stealing?
I met someone once whose bike I had stolen. He described it to a T, so I rode it for a few weeks and then I gave it back him.
Why did you wait?
I needed one, and it was such a nice bike, and I didn’t want to get a new one yet. It's not like he saw me with it. If I was on a bike and someone was like "Hey, that’s mine" I would give it back to them right away. I could just say a crackhead sold it to me, right?
Right. You could. What's the ratio of males to females in the bike theft racket?
I’ve met more women bike thieves. I don’t know what the deal is, maybe they’re not suspected. This one girl told me that her and her friends drive around in a truck and steal bikes, then they move on to the next neighborhood and do it again.
Why do you think there's so much bike theft in Toronto?
A lot of people steal bikes. It's like they're playing a game. If it's locked up it becomes a challenge. I’ve even stopped people from stealing bikes before.
Why would you do that?
I don’t know, maybe I was jealous.
INTERVIEW BY PATRICK MCGUIRE
PHOTO BY ASEN OGNYANOV