The first day of university is a thrilling moment in your life. You leap into your new room full of excitement, with great plans to make this 8 by 6 foot cubby hole adequately portray your amazing personality. So everyone who comes in is totally immersed in what you’re all about. Then all your dreams are shattered by the unflinchingly ugly, stark, utilitarian fittings and the grey-blue walls of your new home. And then you panic. And do you know what a panicking student does when it sees its new room? It fucks up and goes to the poster sale and buys a small forest’s worth of mind-bendingly clichéd posters. Here is a quick guide of what not to buy, skimmed from our recent Student Guide VI.