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LEEDS - FESTIVAL FUN GUY SPEAKS

We tracked down the Festival Fun Guy and asked him to tell us what went down…
OK, I am that guy. I'm Tom and I am from Manchester, UK. I'm going to write a little about what happened that day in Leeds as I haven't really "exposed myself" and explained what was going on…

First of all, for anybody who doesn't know about the Leeds/Reading festivals, they are fantastic. There's a real party atmosphere and they always get great bands. I was at festival with two friends and met a lot more once we were there. Unfortunately, I lost everyone before it happened.

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I was staggering back from the wine vendor and was already pretty wasted. Not wanting to miss out on all the fun, I made my way towards the main stage alone. From then on my memory was pretty hazy. The last thing I remember was lying down on the grass waiting for Bloc Party. I must have been out of it by then, having had three bottles of wine.

I've never felt the need to strip in my life, but I must have given in to peer pressure rather easily. I think the whole bull rushing the crowd thing came from something similar we did the night before in the mosh pit, fully clothed of course. The other stuff, like getting up after a long two count, was wrestling inspired.

After looking at the videos later on, I was pretty surprised at the amount of people who were crowding around me and chanting. A few people told me it was better to watch than the Bloc Party gig, so I must have put on quite a show.

I remember being carried away by security, put into an ambulance, and taken to  the medical camp on site. Inside, I was serenading the staff with a back catalogue of The Smiths and Morrissey songs while they were treating me. To hide my modesty, somebody gave me some manky old jeans and a hoodie that were both several sizes too big.

Then they sent me to a room full of drugged-up maniacs where I had to stay the night. It was full of guys staring blankly at walls. Others were grunting and moaning. My friends visited me later on and told me how brilliant the bands were, which depressed me even more.

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The next day we took the train home to Manchester. I had lost my ticket and about £40 when I threw my jeans into the crowd so I had to borrow some money from my mates to get home.

The incident was the talk of most parties at college. It doesn’t bother me too much. I just laugh with them.

So finally, I didn't shit myself. I know this because I didn't go all weekend. Oh, and I wasn't taking any drugs. I had three bottles of wine in Coca- Cola sized containers which was definitely enough to send me over the edge.

Your naked hero,
Tom

So, according to the comments on this clip, dude got puking drunk on red wine and poppers and somehow ended up encircled by two hundred onlookers. After high-five-ing everyone, our hero falls over (a lot), strips off, charges the crowd, and later shits himself. I wonder what mum said when she picked him up.