On Election Day I’m Reminded Why Getting Deported From the US Wasn’t So Bad

On February 22, 2015, I walked off my 11 hour and 23 minute flight from Narita International Airport to LAX relieved and excited to see my boyfriend (at the time) and to finally be back home in the US. But the reason I remember everything I felt that day is because it was one of the worst days of my life. Instead of grabbing my shit and heading home, I ended up sitting in a cold, vacant back room at LAX, waiting to be deported (it's a long story) and crying uncontrollably thinking about what was going to happen to me.

I just had started my period on the plane, not too long before I was called in to detainment, so I was bleeding profusely and didn't have time to put a tampon on. I was too scared to tell the male guard that I was on my period, because I felt like he was going to mock me or embarrass me, so I just continued bleeding on the plastic white chairs in the waiting room, leaving a trail of blood as they took me into another room for questioning. I felt like a criminal, which I am, if being funny as hell on Twitter is a crime. I felt confused, I felt helpless, I felt mistreated by Homeland Security. But all jokes aside, I felt really really really scared that my fate was in the hands of this big white man with a gun and a bat attached to his belt buckle. I remember thinking I don't want anything more right now than for my mom to hold me, hug me, and tell me everything is going to be OK, but all that was embracing me, in what felt like a jail cell, was an itchy grey blanket they had left for me on a creaky iron bed. This did not feel like the American dream in any capacity.

BEFORE N AFTER PICS — CHIPPY NONSTOP (@chippy_nonstop)February 24, 2015

I'm writing this article from my new home in Toronto, Canada. When I was deported that day in February, I was banned from even visiting America—where my mom, dad and brother currently live— for 10 years. Although I joke about it on Twitter, being deported was one of the most terrifying things that has ever happened to me. I cried myself to sleep most nights for months, I would hyperventilate and have panic attacks throughout the day, and even considered taking my life a few times. If Donald Trump does become president today, he intends on doubling down on the enforcement-only strategy and change laws so there is no path to citizenship once someone has lost their legal status. And since I was once legal, but now after deportation am illegal, I will no longer be able to obtain citizenship in the United States if that law passes, meaning I won't be able to live with my family.

NEITHER OF THE CANDIDATES, TRUMP NOR HILARY HIT THE REAL HARD HITTING ISSUES. WHEN WILL I BE UN-DEPORTED?

— CHIPPY NONSTOP (@chippy_nonstop)September 29, 2016

But my worrying is not just about Donald Trump winning, it is about the state America and the human race is general. Talking to my own friends, family and acquaintances I have the sentiment that the world is progressing, people are educating themselves more, people are more compassionate, caring and loving to one another, but then I turn on the TV and I am triggered.

KANYE WROTE 'NO MORE PARTIES IN LA' AFTER I GOT DEPORTED CUZ HE KNOWS THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD PARTY WITHOUT ME

— CHIPPY NONSTOP (@chippy_nonstop)January 30, 2016

As people hit the polls today in one of the craziest elections in US history, the issue of immigration has played a big role in swaying voters' decisions. From what I can tell, a large number of white Americans want to build a wall, deport illegal immigrants, make it a harder process for immigrants to come to America to eventually get on a path to citizenship, and vigorously vet people from Muslim countries. These Americans are living in fear that immigrants, particularly Mexicans, are taking their jobs, which is not true. Undocumented immigrants are complementary to the American workforce, and 25 percent of the agricultural workforce is undocumented migrants. And I think it's safe to assume Americans aren't willing to leave their lives in cities to go live in rural areas to pick tomatoes in California or dress chickens in North Carolina. I mean, I know I'm too fucking lazy to do that, I'd rather be a Twitter celebrity. One other thing, I don't know if y'all noticed, but a lot of white Americans are also fearful of Muslims. Donald Trump claims that if he becomes president he will vet Muslim people more intensely (bigly!) than any other immigrants who decide to migrate to the United States.

The thing that is fucked up about Donald Trump's thoughts on immigration is not that he wants to deport people who are undocumented, it's the fact that is he targeting Mexicans and Muslims to create a coalition of angry and racist people. Americans live in this world of paralyzing fear, but to be quite honest, how can you blame them when media outlets, pundits, and politicians are putting these thoughts into their heads?

GOT DEPORTED, BUT NO LONGER UNDER NSA SURVEILLANCE, SO MY NUDES ARE SAFE.

— CHIPPY NONSTOP (@chippy_nonstop)October 22, 2016

As a person of colour, it fucks me up to think that people I went to high school, middle school and elementary school with considered me an "other." I mean, people did chant "curry" at my eighth grade graduation, but I thought that was because they loved curry, but I maybe I was wrong. This whole time y'all had me thinking America was built on the platform of being a land of opportunity, where anyone of any color and religion could come together in unity and live their American dream, but damn, guess I was wrong, again. Oops.

Even after all the shit that happened to me this last year, losing everything that was familiar to me—my home, my friends, my career, my family being close to me, and my boyfriend—what kept me sane was acknowledging my sadness and fear, but not letting it dictate the way I ran my life. I took my energy and tried to create something positive for myself and the world around me, even if systematic oppression and the law was technically holding me back. Even though the place I considered home—not the club, btw—kicked me out, I choose to keep going, keep being engaged with the community, keep compassion and love in my heart for others and not give up on humanity.

Change doesn't come from high up, if you are waiting to vote for the "Best President in the World" to save you and humanity, don't hold your breath. This is on us.

Follow Chippy Nonstop on Twitter.