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Ever tried boning while on a psychedelic? You know how your horniness and confusion wrestle against each other in a mega-epic battle and at the end you’re just left staring at a dick as it refracts into mosaic helicoids? I think that’s what watching this movie would be like.Thankfully, having sex isn’t completely within Candy’s jurisdiction. Every single guy around her is so magnetized to her pert tits and vacant, doe-like eyes that they go apeshit trying to stick it in. Over and over again, Candy is guilelessly lured into almost screwing some rando, but is always saved by circumstance in the nick of time. Many of them get to suckle one or both breasts though, and a few very lucky ones take a few paws at her clit.Terry must have been a consummate porn-watcher, because he set every chapter up like mini-scenes in a raunchy tit flick. For example, when Candy meets a respectable-looking gynecologist at a café, she’s persuaded to let him give her an examination in the bathroom. Under the guise of testing her clitoral reflexes, he inserts a clamp between her “darling little labias,” and slowly massages, then sucks ravenously at, her sweet pink clit (a wave of water from a broken toilet saves her).


