
Hi my name is Chad and right now I live Brooklyn, NY. I think I like this girl who is incredibly smart, beautiful, kind, driven, talented, sincere, and kinda humble. I'm a deranged loner, 5'11”. I've never met her but I found some pictures online. Should I pursue this? What are some good emails? I'm lovin' her!
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Chad
Brooklyn, New YorkChad,
Great to hear you’re in Brooklyn; even better to hear that you’re in love with a stranger. We like to call projecting your feelings onto a person you’ve never met “The Honeymoon Phase,” because this is as perfect as it will ever get. In your mind, this person has all the qualities of a perfect mate: something we all know does not exist, like God or Tingrame (that’s not even a real word!) But don’t let that stop you from committing to this 100 percent! We recommend you make this honeymoon phase last forever, that way you’ll never be disappointed. Remember, if someone doesn’t notice you, they can’t break up with you! That’s why Kurt has never been dumped—he’s been hiding from eight girlfriends for over 20 years! Here are some tips on how to take your Honeymoon Phase and turn it into a permanent Honeymoon Phase Vacation (HPV for short).Hot Dog Shoves It In YouChad, the main thing to remember right now is that everything you’re feeling is normal. We all find a picture of a girl online, create an imaginary personality for her, and then tap her phone. It’s all part of this crazy thing we call love! So don’t feel weird. Here are some tips on how to go from watching her from afar to tailing her car:· They say going through a person’s trash is an intimate experience. “Garbage fuck” your crush at least once a week to learn about what she buys, then create a romantic narrative about those items that makes her seem even more perfect!
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