Disney's 'Jungle Cruise' Movie Looks Fully Unhinged

What does any of it have to do with a Disney ride from the 1950s? Who knows!
Jungle Cruise
screenshot via trailer

Here we go again, everybody. Disney has already tried and tried to wring film franchises out of amusement park IP, and it has inexplicably succeeded at least once. Now, the company wants to do it again—by putting the Rock on a magical boat trip for some reason. The first trailer for Disney's upcoming movie based on the Adventureland ride Jungle Cruise dropped this weekend, and the thing is absolutely bonkers.


Just watch:

From the look of it, the movie is a CG-crazed version of The African Queen, with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson playing Bogart and Emily Blunt doing some kind of Buster Keaton-level slapstick gags with a ladder. Also, giant waterfalls! And evil tree zombies! And some sort of mystical arrowhead MacGuffin! What does any of this have to do with a Disney theme park ride from the 1950s? Who knows! At least the Rock makes a joke about the back side of the water, so that's something.

The movie is due out in theaters July 24, 2020, so we have a long time to wait until we can tell if this one is the next Pirates or just another Haunted Mansion… Or just watch the trailer above and make the call yourself. This one looks fully unhinged.