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Colorado's 'Mad Pooper' Might Have a Number Two

The Arkansas "Shit Bandit" could be a copycat.
Drew Schwartz
Brooklyn, US
Lauren Messman
illustrated by Lauren Messman

Back in September, a rogue jogger nicknamed the "Mad Pooper" descended on Colorado Springs and took dumps on people's lawns, ticking off the local residents and prompting a police investigation. Now, it looks like she might have a copycat a few states over with an equally intriguing codename: the "Shit Bandit."

According to FOX 16, Tiffany Mattzela of Little Rock, Arkansas, is the latest denizen to fall victim to a nefarious serial shitter. Just after she left her house last Saturday, she came across an abnormally large dookie by the passenger side of her car. Figuring some mammoth dog might be to blame, she and her fiancé checked their security footage to try to track down the beastly pooch behind the poop.


"When we did, we found it was not a dog," Mattzela told FOX 16. "It was a person who had been jogging down the street, ran up between our two cars, defecated, and ran away."

Just a few days later, the mysterious jogger struck again. On Wednesday, Mattzela went to open the door of her car when she found herself gripping a poop-stained paper towel that had been wrapped around the handle—what she believes was the sprinter's makeshift TP. Once again, her security cameras caught him in the act.

"I mean, it was vile," Mattzela said.

Mattzela posted about the turd terror in an online neighborhood group, where a handful of other Little Rock residents said they too had been subjected to his stinky wrath. She's since filed a complaint with the police.

"The neighborhood's calling him the Shit Bandit," Mattzela told FOX 16.

There's no telling if the Arkansas Shit Bandit is in leagues with Colorado's Mad Pooper, inspired by her brazen work, or just going above and beyond to score a year's supply of Charmin.

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