My boyfriend used to have a slightly kitschy statue of a guitar player standing beside his mailbox. It was about two feet tall, wearing a rumpled mod suit, and his overall vibe was Recognizably Beatlesque, But Not Beatlesque Enough for the Manufacturer to Get Sued. But this is all in the past tense because at some point last month, the statue was stolen. My dude responded by posting some strong words on social media, and by printing a GIVE IT BACK poster in a sinister-looking font, and suggesting that the statue might’ve been cursed. None of it worked.
I hope Gringo A Go Go’s similar “Someone Stole Our Shit” story has a better ending. The Mexican restaurant used to have some large metal cacti outside its Raleigh, North Carolina location, and they had been lovingly wrapped in string lights for the holiday season. And yes, those cacti were stolen too. “Thank you Grinch,” Gringo A Go Go wrote on Facebook. “Gringo had a fine, upstanding citizen steal some of our cacti [...] The thief cut the wires in order to make off with their bounty.”
The restaurant is offering a no-questions-asked $200 reward to anyone who can either return the cacti, or can provide details about their current whereabouts. (And at least one Facebook commenter offered to throw another Benjamin on the pile, if it meant the cacti would soon be back in their rightful places).
“These are not for sale anywhere in the area so if you should happen upon one at a friends house, it is stolen and belongs to me,” the post continues. “I will be discreet when retrieving the items and will in no way divulge the rewardee. You can come by with your info to [the restaurant at] 100 N Person St.”
Maybe going the Facebook route will work: in November, the Hermitage Bar in Edinburgh, Scotland had its beloved Christopher Walken painting returned after its manager called the thieves out online. “The [CCTV] footage [of the theft] clearly shows who you are and two of you were in on Friday night having dinner on a high top table and I spoke with you,” the bar’s manager, Rebecca Short, wrote at the time. “I'm giving you the opportunity to return the picture. You have until Wednesday morning before I involve the police.”
Within a day, the framed portrait of Walken was back on the bar’s wall. It helps, though, that Short had interacted with the alleged thieves, and had caught their faces on camera; it doesn’t seem like Gringo A Go Go has any clue who took their cacti, or exactly when it happened. (MUNCHIES has reached out to Gringo A Go Go for comment but has not yet received a response.)
Regardless, they have some choice words for the responsible parties. “To the thief, you are a scumbag and I am sure that your parents are very proud of the vermin that they spawned,” the restaurant's Facebook account wrote.
That’s good, but have you thought about telling them that the cacti were cursed?