'I Think Jesus Would Be a Juggalo'

As copy editor of VICE.com, it's my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and "fuccboi" is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they're good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of August 14. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.

- What am I going to do in Holland?

- We have to destroy ourselves.

- I have condoms!

- Hell, porn even taunts John Mayer's orgasms.

- I felt like I was out with Courtney Love.

- I think Jesus would be a Juggalo.

- This one's in Jersey.

- I fucking love the US.

- I saw patches, bro.

- I've been waiting for you here all this time.

- This isn't some intellectual idea.

- I've met women with fake photos, had false police reports filed against me, been sprayed with breast milk, you name it.

- In one of them, I masturbated vigorously while Newman from Seinfeld watched.

- You guys like beer?

- Thanks.

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