Aaah Blackberry Messenger—like MSN Messenger’s older, technologically advanced sibling, and iMessage’s cutesier, younger prototype. BBM was where you went for MP3 swapsies, invites to crap events, drug dealers, and, of course, sexting. Lots and lots of sexting. Dick and tit pics galore, cushioned among an array of bog standard emojis. And, if someone from school asked you for your Blackberry Pin, you knew shit was about to get serious.
Anyway, if you wanted to hark back to that glorious era, while also listening to the dulcet tones of Lana Del Rey, then you are in luck. Back in 2011, Lana recorded a demo of a track called “BBM Baby” that is solely dedicated to sexting. For reasons I cannot fathom, she decided not to release it, but because this is 2016 and every move you make will come back to haunt you eventually, the demo has been leaked.
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The track itself is kind of like Britney Spears’ iconic 1999 “Email My Heart” but for horny millenials, and it might just be the best thing I’ve heard all week. Here are some genuine lyrics: “He signs XO, hugs, hey, I know it’s true love cause my heart goes yay.” Oh, and here are some more: “The way, that you write is crazy, you’re typing this poetical, red roses in your message oh, I think I met my match in you.”