Festival season kicks off en force this weekend with Glastonbury, and to get you in the mood for the mud and the music we’ve put together a handy festival guide. First off, Kim Taylor-Bennett takes a look at Festival Dudes…

“Personally, I can’t think of anything worse than getting freaky with someone at a festival. A little kiss, some second base, sure, but I’m just not sure my primal urge to bone could override the inevitable build up of dick cheese after three days of sweating in a field and getting stewed in your tent. And I’m sure there isn’t a woman alive who feels flower-fresh down there after hovering over a piled-high Portaloo and then having to drip-dry. Still, for many, festivals are the perfect opportunity to find a mate or an easy lay. Here are some of the men you might encounter…