On October 31, New York Jets wide receiver Jeremy Kerley learned he was going to be suspended for undisclosed reasons. A week later, the NFL announced that he had violated the league's performance-enhancing-drug policy and tested positive for Turinabol. He was suspended four games, but denied any wrongdoing. In a statement at the time, he said he had never "knowingly taken any banned substances."
"I am 5-foot-9 tall and 180 pounds, and I have never used steroids in my life," he said. "I'm a good athlete, but anyone can look at my body composition and tell that I'm not a steroid user. While I did not have enough time prior to the deadline to resolve this case, I fully intend to investigate this matter until I am able to figure out what caused the positive test, because I know that I have done nothing wrong.
"When I find out what substance was tainted, I will pursue all remedies at that time because this is not right. I have and will always be a clean player, and I look forward to returning to the Jets to play against the Saints next month."
Well, the Jets play the Saints this Sunday, and Kerley is back with the team. He continues to say he never knowingly took any banned substances, although he also says he doesn't have the time to investigate the situation like he initially said he would.
It's possible that it's not just a time factor that's preventing him from looking into this, however. If his theory is correct—which, to be clear, is that a ghost tainted his supplement—he might just have a hard time nailing down the proof. Pete Venkman is not walking through that door, you know?
To a follow-up question about possibly taking a tainted supplement, Kerley said, “I don’t know, a lot of ghosts around here. Ghost put it in my [supplement]. You know, the ghost of Christmas past.”
First of all, kudos to Kerley for coming up with the most creative and amusing excuse for a suspension in a long time. Also, nice work on the appropriate seasonal reference. However, if we recall, we learned of the suspension on Halloween. So, he actually might be on to something here. We hear so much about the treats at Halloween, but not nearly as much about the tricks. Like the classic Halloween prank, Ghost Taints Your Supplements with Turinabol.