I started working as a cam girl a few months ago to support myself while living in the financial sink hole that is London, and it's honestly the best job I've ever had. I make far more money than I could in any entry level or service job, and my day is now just sitting about in my underwear or pyjamas on the internet, smoking weed and occasionally being paid hundreds of dollars to cum.
I'm finally financially benefiting from being an 8/10 on a good day, and it feels great. Although I've always been pro-sex workers and sex work in theory, I doubted their assertion that the work was actually fulfilling or enjoyable; I imagined the world of cam girls to be like a virtual version of the Daily Sport – a bit grim and seedy. But I can tell you that teasing and masturbating while watching yourself and your coins pile up on a screen leads to waves of ecstasy I could have never imagined before. I also feel privileged to be privy to people's deepest, darkest desires.
The site I use requires girls to be fully clothed in public chat, which people can view for free. There are galleries of girls in public chat divided by location, age, fetishes, etc. Then, much like the Amsterdam red light district, the girls sit in their windows trying to entice men inside. While in public chat people message you for either a private session or with custom videos requests.
Here are the ten requests for paid shows I've received that have surprised me the most.
You look so much like my sister, can you pretend to be her?
I get this way, way too often. Men are wild. Do you all fantasise about your actual sisters, or do you just wish I was your sister? I get this request so often, and I can't possibly look like all your sisters – so what is it? Do you wish your sister was as hot as me, and if she was would you want to fuck her? Do you know? Probably not.
Can you record yourself and your friends pissing on a night out?
This is a gem. One guy is into dressed up women on nights out relieving themselves, particularly against a car, which frankly makes the filming easier. He is particularly turned on by hearing the urine hit the concrete. So now my friends and I record each other pissing in-between parked cars on nights out for 50 dollars a pop. I'm hoping I find some men who are into girls being sick out of taxis or shoving greasy kebab meat into their mouths so I can start getting my entire night out funded by men thinking with their dicks.
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Please refer to me as "Jew Bitch"
I describe myself as #exotic on my profile – even though using that word outside camming would make me retch – and so far I haven't met anyone who wants to racially humiliate me. But I know from my research that it's likely to happen, and when it does I'm probably going to refuse as I aim to leave the world of sex work with the least possible damage to my mental wellbeing.
The guy assured me that he is Jewish and consequentially thinks it's morally justifiable. However, he's highly unlikely to be able to ask any partner to do this to him – as is often the case with the requests I receive – meaning this little corner of the morally murky internet is his sexual safe space, the anonymity of both parties allowing him to role-play his perhaps harmful desires in a safe and discreet environment. I once laughed at a friend who used the phrase "kink shame", but I'm now applying a no kink-shaming rule in my online room.
Can you send me a video begging me to cum in you, get you pregnant and let you abort the baby?
I really feel for this guy and all the women he's ever shagged. He presumably discovered this fetish after accidentally getting someone pregnant, but I wonder what led him to link the feelings of grief and loss – and maybe a little relief? – with sexual arousal. It's a little sad that he's ended up in a situation where his unborn child being hoovered out of a woman gets him off, but he pays me to make me feel better about, it so I'll take his money. The anonymity of the customer has led to me developing a real numbness to these requests. If anyone I ever had sex with even hinted at something like this I'd be horrified, but this really didn't bother me at all – it's work.
Would you like your asshole ripped open and peed in?
No, obviously not. Everyone has a limit, and pretending to be up for this is mine. This is so far from anything I could ever find even remotely arousing that I struggled to even play along. The guy claims he does this with real women, but seriously: where is he finding them? It's so dangerous and unsanitary – and also: how you are going to explain the infected tears in your asshole when you inevitably end up in hospital?
Can you suck your own toes?
Turns out I'm actually really good at sucking my own toes.
Can you worship a big black cock?
It turns out that a LOT of (I presume white) British men are into big black cock worship. I guess it isn't that surprising if you've ever dipped your toe into the cuckold tag on PornHub, or if you believe the rumours that a considerable number of Middle Englanders like to watch their M&S-clad wives being dogged by eight-inch Marcel. Sometimes they show me their pink penises and I tell them how small and worthless they are, and that only a big black man could ever truly satisfy me. I try to leave judgment out of my work, but jeez – I bet these guys all cross the road when they spot a group of black men.
Have you ever worn a cast?
Wow, there is literally a fetish for everything. Every possible action you could ever make will inevitably arouse someone, somewhere. I wonder how many cast fetishes exist? Do these people spend their evenings in A&E rooms, stockpiling mental material for later? What could be remotely sexy about being in a cast? I guess if you have multiple limbs broken you're constrained, which is a pretty common fetish – but realistically they're itchy and impractical and filled with dead skin.
Can you wear a hoodie with the hood up?
Men like this are cam girl gold. This is genuinely all this man needs to get off. A girl with a hood up. No nudity. No dirty talking. Just a hood.
Would you like to move into my large house in Devon with me and become a cam couple?
This was just odd. I received a 2,000-word email from a 40-year-old man trying to convince me to move to DEVON to shag all day on cam. He'd obviously spent a long time on the email, so must have thought he was in with a chance? His line of argument is that people make more money fucking all day than a girl can just sitting about in her room. Duh. If I wanted to have sex on cam I'm sure I'd be able to find someone myself, not in Devon. Women can always find someone to have sex with. Cheers for the offer, though.
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I genuinely find all these requests so interesting, and I've learned so much from camming. Still, I have far more questions than answers. I wish, after a show, people would chat to me about what led to them making these kind of requests.
Was "Jew Bitch" bullied at school about being Jewish and then developed a liking for the torment? When Mr Cast sees someone hobbling around in a leg cast, is he instantly aroused? Have any of these men ever admitted these desires to their partners? Has our exposure to extreme porn during puberty led to men craving women doing nothing but sitting with their hoods up? All these requests really got me thinking about what my exes were secretly into. Can you ever really know somebody if they are unable to reveal their deepest desires to you? Do I know your boyfriend better than you do?
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