Yet, for decades, a majority of trans women like myself have actualized their identities through gay communities, often within the space of LGBTQ nightclubs. For many of us who first identify as gay men and then go on to transition, our gay and queer social circles function as family, social group, and dating pool all at once. Once we transition, those bonds are the same, but the way we experience them is irrevocably altered. We still want to go dance with our sisters, but we don't always feel welcome in the same way.
Why are there so few "queer" parties that actually embody the full spectrum of queerness?
How can a party claim to be "queer" if the lineup isn't diverse, the cover is too high, there isn't accessibility for those who are differently abled, or it takes place in a club where the staff and security might antagonize people of color or gender non-conforming individuals? LGBTQ nightlife is still primarily dominated by white cisgender gay men, so how can a party be queer when it's exclusive of the whole rainbow?
Queerness is a way to quantify how the personal becomes political.