Somebody better channel the ghost of Christopher Hitchens and politely let the specter know that the entirety of his life's work was, in fact, in vain. After all, even the most hardened of New Atheists would be forced to give pause and rethink a thing or two after being confronted with the incontrovertible evidence of an omnipotent higher being that has, just this past week, been delivered unto mankind.
Yes, the powers at be have miraculously graced the pitiable inhabitants of Earth with a Flamin' Hot Cheeto doppelganger of Harambe the gorilla (RIP)—and boy, is it glorious.
Since appearing on eBay, the mystifying Cheeto has shaken many a person to their core and opened the floodgates with a deluge of questions, including these: Has Harambe's untimely death led to him being reincarnated as a snack? Would the soul of Harambe, which is undoubtedly trapped inside the Cheeto, be transferred to the person who eats said Cheeto? And, oh yeah, who in the fuck is crazy enough to drop thousands upon thousands of dollars for a single Cheeto, no matter its shape?
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