In 2006, I remember stumbling upon a t-shirt for sale at a Beijing hipster mall that featured a collage of 9/11 imagery with Osama's face presiding over all of it, the headline reading, in cartoon font, something to the effect of "Osama Rules!" The seller knew it was a hot item; he demanded double what the other t-shirts cost. I couldn't afford it.Read more at Vice.The origins of this "Afghan Crisis" game are obscure. It was apparently made in China, but there's no indication of what company manufactured it, or why they thought a toy Osama bin Laden would be a hot-selling item. Some basic internet research informed me that this was a variation of a game called Pop-Up Pirate, which seems to be designed for very small or very stupid children. You play the game by sticking knives into the barrel until one of them hits a button that causes the pirate to spring out of the top, and whoever makes the pirate jump wins. Or loses. Or something. It doesn't matter, because no one will ever play this boring game. Kids would rather sit listlessly in front of an X-Box, and for good reason. (There's now a Wii version, which seems about as fun as flipping a virtual coin over and over.)
As a game, this thing is a piece of trash, but what about as a surprisingly subtle piece of foreign-policy commentary? Could this "Afghan Crisis" be an accurate metaphor for the way the US pursued the War on Terror? After all, as we invaded Afghanistan, then Iraq, we were basically just sticking swords into a plastic barrel and hoping Osama popped out. Maybe whatever third-world memorabilia merchant created this game wasn't trying to make a quick buck; maybe he was trying to warn America that finding Osama would take patience, luck, and not necessarily skill. Was "BIN THERE" a cryptic message that US policy should be more concerned with the rise of China than an all-out search for a bearded asshole who, as far as we knew, could actually be in a plastic barrel? On balance, no, probably not.
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The Osama Bin Laden Board Game
The gloating over America's most tragic moment has taken plenty of forms, including, apparently, a board game for the entire family. VICE's Harry Cheadle bought the terror curio, called "Afghan Crisis," from someone on the Internet, and received by mail a box featuring an illustrated Osama that reads, "BIN OF FUN; BIN THERE; BIN LADEN" and "Suspense! Luck!!"