Dating is the worst, but the best thing about it are the stories—and the best stories are simple. With that in mind, we asked friends and co-workers to sum up the worst dates they've ever been on in six words. Here's one: "Hardcore begged to see my NuvaRing." Like so many bad dates, many more follow below.
"Mirrored-ceiling bedroom at his parents'." - Shelly, 28
"She wrote a zine about microaggressions." - Allie, 27
"He licked his dinner plate clean." - Jen, 36 "Left FetLife open on his computer." - Amy, 31
"Insulted me, wanted to borrow money." - Mike, 36 "Didn't know what a meme was" - Eve, 23
"Broke and bitter stand-up comic." - Alix, 33
"Couldn't without Morrissey playing in background." - Elizabeth, 27 "Gave blowjob in Jeep. Was rejected." - Alex, 32
"Pitched a VICE article after sex." - Jamie, 31
"Planned our entire future over PBR." - Lauren, 25 "He pooped himself before dinner arrived." - Roxy, 35
"Watched March Madness over my head." - Jill, 33
"Romantic fireplace turned into an inferno." - Adam, 35
"Mistakenly went on polyamorous Tinder date." - Alex, 26
"Hardcore begged to see my NuvaRing." - Jen, 34
"Talked about milk for a while." - Courtney, 31
"Seemed promising! Her blog said otherwise." - Hezekiah, 31 "Said she'd attempted suicide on Friday." - Jason, 37
"That pocket bulge was a gun" - Courtney, 38 "He talked about clipping his toenails." - Amanda, 39
"He read the paper, I ate." - Jaime, 39
"Said his favorite show was Girlboss" - Keith, 27
"First stop: his ex-girlfriend's house." - Wynn, 35
"Believed he was an actual alien." - Lisa, 35 "Burped in my mouth while kissing." - Norah, 38
"Had loud diarrhea in my bathroom" - Lana, 27 "Sweated through T-shirt at fancy restaurant." - Lucy, 24
"Made fun of my bartender friend." - James, 34 "Disclosed two DUIs before first course." - Marcy, 26 "'Romantic" location: airport hotel parking lot." - Michelle, 42
"Asked, 'Can I get a hug?'" - Katie, 23 "He was a polyamorist with herpes." - Troy, 32 "Had a Garden State Parkway tattoo." - Leah, 33
"Took me to Primerica pyramid seminar." - Kate, 35
"Brought his dog. It got attacked." - Hayley, 26
"Surprise! He's married with three kids." - Lora, 32
"Racist in the first ten minutes." - Claire, 23
"Got wing sauce on his forehead." - Grace, 29
"Kept calling me his ex's name." - Eric, 24
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