VICE Sports World News Roundup: November 23

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It's the 23rd of November, 2015, and Sepp Blatter is still, technically, president of FIFA.

The first Clasico of the season was a total beatdown. Barcelona crushed Real Madrid 4-0. Luis Enrique's postgame interview was full of so much chest-thumping: "I don't think Real Madrid gave up. We were a level above them and we outnumbered them in many areas of the game. The game is more of a reflection of our merits than Madrid's faults." Nevertheless, many are blaming Rafa Benitez for the loss—which was pre-ordained the day he was hired—and rightly so. Madrid fans are, as you might expect, taking this all quite well, and are definitely NOT demanding club president Florentino Pérez resign.

Some big results in the EPL this weekend, too. Leicester City—Leicester City!—is top of the table after 13 games played. Yes, the little Racist Orgy Club That Could is chugging right along on the back of its racist star. Feel-good story of the year, for sure. Elsewhere, Liverpool thoroughly demolished Manchester City as Jurgen Klopp stakes early ground as Liverpool folk hero, and Arsenal lost away to West Brom, but more importantly, their old friend Lengthy Injury Spell scored again, this time against their only competent defensive midfielder, Francis Coquelin.

Chelsea got back on the winning side of things against Norwich, but Mourinho says winning the title is out of the question, except for…Tom Cruise? "Fourth position for me is not an impossible mission. If you ask me about winning the the title, I would say impossible mission. Maybe Tom Cruise can do it but it's complicated." Now we know the only man on Earth Jose Mourinho admires.

Other big European club news: Bayern Munich won, Juventus beat Milan in a pivotal mid-table match, and PSG won. Most of these clubs will have a short week, as Champions League action resumes Tuesday.

The NFL thrust it's giant belly into America's face yesterday, as is custom on autumn Sundays. Lots of teams played, some won, others lost. A few noteworthy items: Joe Flacco is out for the year with a torn ACL, the Jets lost, the Broncos won without Peyton Manning, the Cowboys won with Tony Romo, and the Panthers will go into a Thanksgiving showdown with the Dallas Cowboys with a perfect record.

Sepp Blatter isn't dead, but he says he was close. "I was among the angels singing and the devil with the fire. But it was the angels who sang." Quite a visual. Then, he threatened the world not only to return from death's doorstep, but to run FIFA again, too: "Platini is an honest man. If he comes back, he will be elected. And then [if] he comes back, I will return too." Oh, dear.

Today's photo of the day comes from the German Masters equestrian tournament in Stuttgart, in which Swedish rider Douglas Lindeloew rides his horse Casello over some poles. Look at the horsie's hat!