In which the Washington Football Problem is victimized by bad refereeing and THE PC POLICE. Also drone-aided tailgating and people being dumb about Russell Wilson.
Washington was on the wrong end of several questionable calls during their loss in Carolina on Sunday, most notably a suspect personal foul that negated a pick-six by their defense. When a team loses 44-16, complaints about officiating tend to fall on deaf ears—that is, unless the complaint alleges bias by the officials out of contempt for a racist team name. That'll get some attention. We're terrible like that.
Advertisement
And so Jason Hatcher's postgame comments, in which he stops just short of calling NFL referees a bunch of social justice warriors, are being widely circulated. Part of it, surely, is to mock an offended player grasping for any lame excuse following defeat, but there are a lot of interesting things going on here.
That Hatcher's remarks are gaining traction is illustrative of our hope that, however unbelievable, there are actually people in the NFL who try to do right. While the league provides a distanced support, the franchise's struggle to keep its slur of a name has primarily been the fight of owner Dan Snyder. The reality is that the league isn't eager to go against one of its owners, though perhaps it's a comforting fantasy to believe that, behind the scenes, NFL employees would prefer Snyder finally just give in and change it.So are the refs really picking on the poor R*dskins just to advance the cause of justice? I suppose it's possible but I seriously doubt it. For starters, Washington doesn't need much assistance to be mediocre. Second, why would the team losing force Snyder to make a change? It's not like the team's fans haven't been accustomed to losing over the past 20 years, and it's not like Snyder will face any more pressure than he already does after yet another season without a playoff appearance.
The perception of an officiating bias is less important than why Hatcher thinks one might exist. His tone suggests a thorough acceptance of the awfulness of the team's name. Sure, he says, the refs know it's bad, we know it's bad, but we're honest, hard-working people with a job to do and besides, the name isn't our fault.Unless you subscribe to the sort of creep show authoritarian employer-love encouraged by NFL access reporters, it would be foolish to expect every player on Snyder's team to support the continued use of the name. At the same time, you don't see current players come down publicly against it—after all, they have jobs to protect. It would be nice to see players risk something for a just cause, though it's selfish of us to demand that of them, especially while we sit back comfortably and support the NFL, with all its unjust causes, by watching. Hatcher isn't going so far as to criticize the name here, but by seemingly operating on the assumption that the team name is bad and disliked by supposedly unbiased officials, he might as well be.At Least Dan Snyder Projects an Air of Dignity
Imagine an American Idol-style contest to find the most petty and unremarkable mortgage broker middle manager in America and gift them hundreds of millions of dollars and the stylistic chops of Ted Cruz. Daniel Snyder is basically the winner of that show. Of course, we don't need a fictional scenario because there is a real Dan Snyder, fashioned by our own terrible world into the mighty douchechill-generating force that he is. That photo smells like Drakkar Noir and overcompensating. Also that is a terrible idea for a show.
As Mike Pereira, former NFL vice president of officiating and lover of Tito's Vodka, explains, the penalty on Chris Culliver was a technically correct interpretation of a stupid rule. The rulebook states that all liability for avoiding a hit to the head or neck area falls to the defender, even if the receiver alters his body prior to contact. In the interest of promoting a specious idea of player safety, the NFL has made it occasionally impossible to play defense. That has nothing to do with the R*dskins name and everything to do with how the NFL's un-serious pretense that safety is a priority intermittently renders its sport an incoherent mess.Week 11's Requisite Football Catch Mystery
Naturally, it wasn't just defenseless receiver penalties that served as a reminder of the NFL's fundamental problems with the rules of the game. More than anything, fans can count on a weekly controversial ruling on a football catch that only reinforces the truth that no one knows how to define a catch. On Sunday, Raiders receiver Michael Crabtree got two feet down inbounds on a third-down pass before being shoved by a defender. Crabtree then took two more steps before going to the ground out of bounds, where he finally lost the ball. That somehow amounted to an incomplete pass. Call it another sacrifice to the capricious whims of whoever happens to be making that call.
Advertisement
The Cowboys Will Tolerate Many Awful Things, but Not Tardiness or Casual Travel Attire
Here's what we know of the Cowboys' shifting standards of conduct: Greg Hardy can be unrepentant for past heinous crimes and is permitted to repeatedly humiliate an organization that swore he was a changed man. Hardy can fight with coaches and get in trouble for stupid tweets but, by gum, he is notallowed to be late for more than a handful of meetings. Meanwhile, less talented teammates have been cut for so little as not wearing suits on road trips.When it comes to Greg Hardy and the Cowboys, cynicism is both the easiest and the most reasonable approach. If the team slips from playoff contention, it's easy to see Dallas taking a much-too-late "principled" stand by finally cutting ties with Hardy. But now Tony Romo is back and Dallas got its first victory since Hardy was able to start playing with the club. So long as there's a chance for the Cowboys to make the postseason, don't hold your breath for Dallas getting rid of Hardy for anything short of another arrest.The Struggle for .500 Is Evidently Worth Endangering Case Keenum's Brain
Late in the fourth quarter of the Rams-Ravens game, St. Louis quarterback Case Keenum was slammed to the turf on a second-down play. Keenum grabbed his head instantly, appeared woozy on the ground for several seconds, and did not even respond to a teammate's offer to help him to his feet. Did this trigger any sort of concussion protocol or intervention for an injury spotter? Nope. Keenum didn't miss a snap. Her threw a pass that Wes Welker—this isn't getting any less depressing, sorry—dropped and then got stripped of the ball on the play after that. After the game, Keenum was unavailable to media, not that they bothered to ask Jeff Fisher about the decision to leave him in the game. Keenum was diagnosed with a concussion while in the locker room.When Only Mascots Play Football, Decapitation Is Fun
There's your solution for quieting the public's concern for head injuries: make it all the National Furry League. The player getting concussed is brutal, but a mascot losing his head is adorable! Whatever audience the NFL would lose to prudishness it'd gain back with enthusiastic fetishists and bronies. Surely they drink lite beer and drive trucks, too.The Last Thing You Want Is a Starting Quarterback America Knows
Trusting a Chris Mortensen report is always an adventure. For the sake of amusement, let's assume this one is accurate and that Seahawks brass is actually worried about Russell Wilson transforming into a me-first glory boy Celebrity QB. A three-touchdown day on Sunday against San Francisco burnished stats that had been slipping for Wilson in 2015, though some of that can be attributed to an absurdly shaky offensive line, which has Russell on pace for a career high in sacks taken.
Advertisement
It's also worth noting that Wilson has played in the last two Super Bowls and won one. Those are the sorts of things that accord players more attention. It's not like football media is all that harsh to Tom Brady and Peyton Manning for being famous athletes who get attention away from the field. It's possible to be embarrassed by some of the things Wilson has said in recent months—nanobubbles and God asking him to protect Ciara's virginity come to mind—though the fact that he's getting attention seems like a silly thing to focus on.If this boils down to the organization holding Wilson's appearance in the Entourage movie against him—well, that's just a reasonable stance, actually.In Marathon-Related Burns, a Taste for NFL Jokes
Distance runners just can't get enough of their NFL jokes. First, there was the guy who dressed up like Tom Brady and juggled footballs at a bunch of marathons this year. Now there's this lady making fun of Sam Bradford during Sunday's Philadelphia Marathon. That's… two examples. Only one short of a trend piece. Three is still the standard for trend pieces, right? I don't always keep up with the Way We Media Now.Jerry Richardson Won't Have His Underlings Reading Computer Printouts
Speaking of media, there simply aren't enough examples of media members publicly clowning others in the press box, so cheers to the Washington Post's Master Tesfatsion for making the world aware of the Panthers employee who still uses a typewriter to compile a play-by-play log, which apparently comes in handy when the computers crash. I bet you've already came up with ten ultra-tired hipster jokes before finishing that sentence, so I won't bother. Rest assured, this guy would be very popular in Asheville.
Advertisement
Anyway, the typewriter is a charming throwback to the days when ink-stained wretches actually populated the press box and making an error was less a reason for defensive tweets than a handy excuse to huff Whiteout.Fan of the Week
Burning the jersey of an opponent before a game is a tried-and-true tailgate tradition among property-damaging drunks. It was certainly preferable to some of the other Aaron Rodgers effigies present in Minnesota on Sunday. The use of the drone, it could be argued, is a needless technological flourish for what is typically a rather low-tech form of destruction.That said, the drone does add a futuristic and dystopian flair to an increasingly trite barbaric ritual. Before you know it, enterprising football idiots will design robots to carry out the entire jersey-burning process for them, and what a day that will be. Instead of Battlebots, there will be design competitions for tailgating bots. It will usher in a bright new age of humanity no longer having to rely on itself to accidentally set fire to vehicles.
The Hamster escapes. Photo by Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
Five Winners Who Covered Their Bloodline in Glory1. James Jones's hoodie, a stylistic choice clearly responsible for his two key second-half catches, including a 27-yard touchdown to put the Packers up two scores in the fourth quarter.
Advertisement
2. Doug Martin. While his 235 rushing yards might not be a single-game career high—that would be the 251 he dropped on the Raiders in 2012—it was the highest total for a rusher in Week 11 and took considerable pressure off his team's rookie quarterback.3. DeAndre Hopkins, with 118 yards receiving and two scores in a pivotal win to keep the Texans tied for the AFC South lead.4. Cam Newton, whose five touchdowns gave him plenty reason to dab on them folk, though I'm still waiting on the justification for his wearing a fox tail during the postgame presser.5. D'Qwell Jackson, with a pick-six in the second half in Atlanta to tie the game, along with a fumble recovery and a sack.Five Losers Bathing in the Hard Water of Infinite Shame1. The end of Rams-Ravens: before Justin Tucker mercifully put the game to rest, there were two missed field goals in the final two minutes, a likely ignored concussion for Case Keenum, a fumble by said likely concussed quarterback who was bafflingly left in the game, and a season-ending ACL injury for Joe Flacco.2. Donald Penn can't shoulder the blame for all of the Raiders offensive struggles in Detroit, but his holding call that resulted in a safety midway through the fourth quarter proved to be a critical mistake that Oakland couldn't recover from.3. San Diego Chargers, with a wholly pathetic showing against a divisional rival on the day the team was retiring LaDainian Tomlinson's number.
Advertisement
4. Byron Maxwell, who had zero words in his defense when asked to explain how a pass he should have intercepted just before halftime ended up being a Buccaneers touchdown to go up 28-14 at the break.5. Kirk Cousins, with three turnovers in a game Washington wouldn't have won even if the calls went their way. He was, however, refreshingly candid in the days leading up to the game about his lack of rhythm.As for Tonight…
Rex Ryan is the hunter and Bill Belichick his vastly more disciplined and ruthless quarry.Early in his career as a head coach, Rex had noteworthy success against the Pats. Rex's Jets teams won three of their first five games against New England, including a memorable playoff upset in Gillette Stadium following the 2010 season.Since that playoff game, when Rex stormed the end zone himself to celebrate a clinching score, Belichick's team has dominated, winning eight of the last nine against Rex Ryan's teams. Rex admits much of his frequent discussion of the Pats is borne of respect, and that's fine, though Rex must start getting the better of these matchups again or else there may not be many more.While the AFC East title going to the Patriots is practically a foregone conclusion at this point, the Bills are very much fighting for their playoff lives. Buffalo gave New England a competitive game in their Week 2 showdown, though that's about the best you can say for a performance in which the Bills were hit with 140 yards in penalties and Tom Brady passed for 466 yards and three touchdowns.Barring the unlikely result of a Bills victory this evening, the AFC will go into the last six weeks of the regular season with just four teams having a winning record. While I can assure you with such classic football bromides as "once the postseason starts, records don't matter" and "even Tim Tebow won in the playoffs once," it's getting increasingly difficult to see any team in this conference posing a serious threat to the Pats, as long as New England can stop losing a critical player to injury each week.
ONE EMAIL. ONE STORY. EVERY WEEK. SIGN UP FOR THE VICE NEWSLETTER.
By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content.
Rex Ryan is the hunter and Bill Belichick his vastly more disciplined and ruthless quarry.Early in his career as a head coach, Rex had noteworthy success against the Pats. Rex's Jets teams won three of their first five games against New England, including a memorable playoff upset in Gillette Stadium following the 2010 season.Since that playoff game, when Rex stormed the end zone himself to celebrate a clinching score, Belichick's team has dominated, winning eight of the last nine against Rex Ryan's teams. Rex admits much of his frequent discussion of the Pats is borne of respect, and that's fine, though Rex must start getting the better of these matchups again or else there may not be many more.While the AFC East title going to the Patriots is practically a foregone conclusion at this point, the Bills are very much fighting for their playoff lives. Buffalo gave New England a competitive game in their Week 2 showdown, though that's about the best you can say for a performance in which the Bills were hit with 140 yards in penalties and Tom Brady passed for 466 yards and three touchdowns.Barring the unlikely result of a Bills victory this evening, the AFC will go into the last six weeks of the regular season with just four teams having a winning record. While I can assure you with such classic football bromides as "once the postseason starts, records don't matter" and "even Tim Tebow won in the playoffs once," it's getting increasingly difficult to see any team in this conference posing a serious threat to the Pats, as long as New England can stop losing a critical player to injury each week.