Money Can’t Buy Life: The Richest Americans Die Earlier Than the Poorest Europeans

It’s so very American to hoard as much money as you possibly can and still not be able to squeeze as much value out of it as a poor person somewhere else on the planet.  

A new study from the New England Journal of Medicine found that Americans die earlier across all income levels compared to their European counterparts. What’s especially funny is that America’s one percenters are getting outlived by Europe’s poorest.

The study, which examined 73,000 people between the ages of 50 and 85 across both the United States and Europe, found that the Silicon Valley millionaire freak who biohacks his mitochondria or whatever is much more likely to die early compared to some European dude who eats sausages for every meal.

Even the Richest Americans Die Earlier Than the Poorest Europeans

It’s not that the sausages are the key to life, even though many of us, myself included, wish that they were. The conclusion reached by the researchers is the same one you’re probably already thinking—the same one that a lot of you probably don’t want to admit, purely for ideological reasons: socialized healthcare.

Most Europeans aren’t delaying doctor visits because they can’t afford them. This is allowing them to leave longer, healthier, happier lives. The study sliced people into four wealth brackets and compared mortality rates. Across the board, Americans died more.

In fact, the poorest Europeans in places like Germany, France, and the Netherlands had lower death rates than the richest Americans. And before you start shouting about personal responsibility or the free market or whatever conservative propaganda that’s been hammered into your head, the researchers say this is more about access to healthcare, stress, and how badly your country sets you up to fail.

Being rich does have its benefits, according to the researchers. Rich folks are 40 percent less likely to die than the broke folks—but that 40 percent bonus means less in the States, where even the richest are getting out-lived by European pensioners living their best state-funded lives.

A giant collective pool of resources far greater than what any person can amass might be better for our collective health outcomes than a rat race promoted by rich sociopaths, specifically designed to have the underclasses ripping each other apart while they live lavish lives that don’t even amount to longer lives.

Whodathunkit?