Dogfart Released a Donald Sterling Cuckold Porn Parody

Photos courtesy of Dogfart Productions

“Honestly, I’m like one-third hard.”

“Dude, how? This is gross.”

“It’s totally involuntary.”

I’m sitting on my friend’s couch, trying to cover my halfhearted boner with a pillow. In middle school, I avoided sleepovers with kids who loved porn for this exact reason, but here I am, 21 years old and watching porn with my friends for the first time. We’re halfway through a video I’ve been assigned to review called “Donald Gets His Balls Clipped,” a parody of the Donald Sterling debacle. We’re watching the video on CuckoldSessions.com, a subsidiary of Dogfart Productions, “The Undisputed Kings of Adult Interracial Entertainment since 1996.” Every video on CuckoldSessions.com features a black dick in a white vagina. The site also features white dicks, but unlike the black dicks, the white dicks don’t have intercourse. They receive a handjob at best, their owners watching with a mix of horror and lust as their wives, girlfriends, mothers, and/or sisters ride massive black cocks. The women laugh at the puny white dicks, mocking their owners’ impotence.

“Donald Gets His Balls Clipped” is no exception. The video starts with a meeting between Sterling’s alleged mistress, V Stiviano, and his wife, Rochelle. Rochelle presents Stiviano with a plot to to get even. Stiviano enthusiastically agrees. “I didn’t know you were going to be this nice!” she chirps to Rochelle. Cut to 80s soap opera star James Bartholet in front of a pile of forms. He stamps each one with a maniacal laugh: “Foreclose! Foreclose! Foreclose!”

A call from Stiviano interrupts Sterling. She summons him to a motel room. When he arrives, he finds his wife and girlfriend on top of his star player, sucking frantically. He can only utter two words: “Black… cock… black… cock.”

A few minutes later, Sterling’s perched on a stool in the corner, furiously tugging his wiener. He gazes longingly at the athletic tableau of limbs on the couch before him, but he’s never invited to play. Instead, the women periodically stop what they’re doing to insult Sterling.

“Look at his little winky!” coos Stiviano. “You call that a dick?”

“Oh! Your dick is so adorable and small,” Rochelle chirps as she straddles the Clipper. “I need black dick to fill me up!”

“Why didn’t I buy a baseball team?” Sterling moans.

Moments later, he stands up and waddles over to a stool to get a better look, pants around his ankles. I feel bad for him.

Merriam Webster defines cuckold as a “man whose wife is unfaithful.” The word originates from the sexual behaviors of the female cuckoo, who lays her eggs in other birds’ nests. Literary depictions of cuckoldry reached their artistic peak in James Joyce’s Ulysses. Throughout the novel, Leopold Bloom, the protagonist, obsesses over his wife’s impending affair. In one sequence, he turns into a woman and adopts a submissive pose. Bloom gets off on his humiliation—his fantasies reflect a terrifying post-industrial world of linguistic ambiguity, where the only certainty you can hold on to is your dick. When in doubt, masturbate.

In Ulysses, Bloom’s journey into Dublin’s red-light district reveals his repressed fears and desires. If an American writes a Ulysses-like novel in 2014, he can easily copy and paste his search history into the novel, since Americans use porn to explore taboos like incest, S&M, and yoga. And also race, of course. Centuries of colonialism have made America’s white population weirdly obsessed with black bodies. Judging from the content on Dogfart—along with mountains of academic research—white men unconsciously fear that black men want to sleep with their white women. We fear the idea of huge black dicks, imagining black men as superhumans with natural bedroom advantages. If you’re an American guy with a white wife, this is a fairly stressful belief.

Some guys cope with this neurotic anxiety by watching black men fuck their wives. A 2011 VICE documentary called Mandingo! explores the world of the Florida Mandingos, “discreet, professional, educated, intelligent, physically fit, drug and disease free, well-hung black gentlemen, age 24 to 45, that specialize in hot, intense, nasty gangbangs for couples… who love big black dicks and black dick fantasies!” The documentary also interviewed the “the insatiable wives and the cuckolded white husbands” who support them.

This is Dogfart’s bread and butter. Besides CuckoldSessions.com, Dogfart hosts Watching Mom Go Black, Blacks on Blondes, Interracial BlowBang, and many more. Dogfart is the Walmart of white shame.

When I read the words “Donald Gets His Balls Clipped,” I conceptualize the movie's target audience as checkered-shorts-and-graphic-tee-type dudes, laughing and coming with their buds while sitting in suburban man caves and reading Reddit threads. The comments tell a different story: “Ladies GREAT, good head as 2 on 1 cock, intense, however, poor camera work, not much close up of big cock fucking these women, and what happen to the cum scene, with the intense, he should have been loaded with buckets of cum? Over all good, but needs attention to more details of what porn is about and that is one wild sex organ penetrating and wrecking another. :-)”

This is no garden variety Chad. The other commenters share a similar tone, scrutinizing how the film stacks up against the stringent requirements of their cuckold fantasy. Is the cuck suitably mocked?

“Love the humiliation! More comments about the cucks tiny tool, loved hearing them say little winky, and hearing [Stiviano] say that's little!”

How can it be improved? “Have [actress] Nina Hartley use the N-word.”

For those who pay for access to Dogfart’s content, lols are secondary to mental anguish—they relate to Sterling. Forget basketball. Sterling could be a tollbooth operator or a farmer as long his wife and girlfriend humiliate his measly dick. Dogfart mines the twisted tunnels of the white American psyche for rich visions of sexual shame. In a 2010 article on the Daily Beast, a cuckold named Paul notes how cuckolding is “truly intellectual in its enterprise because it replaces sexual touch with humiliation and emotional pain.” The Donald Sterling story is fascinating because it exposes the normally taboo intersection between racism and sexual fetish. Unlike, say, the producers of a Star Wars porn parody, Dogfart barely needs to change a detail.

We’ll never know whether Sterling was an out-and-proud cuckold, but he fits the profile. Former Clippers general manager Elgin Baylor claimed that “Sterling would bring women into the locker room after games, while the players were showering, and make comments such as, ‘Look at those beautiful black bodies.’” Sterling allegedly told Stiviano, “You can sleep with [black people]. You can bring them in; you can do whatever you want. The little I ask you is not to promote it on that… and not to bring them to my games.”

To Sterling, black men are scary inferior humans with accurate free throws and beautiful bodies. The difference between real life Sterling and porn Sterling is circumstantial, not philosophical. If the views Dogfart gets every month are any indication, Sterling’s only crime was expressing an opinion held by a huge number of men.

At first glance, “Donald Gets His Balls Clipped” seems like a righteous revenge story: “Racist Team Owner’s Wife and His Girlfriend Unite to Get Revenge, and You Won’t Believe What Happens Next.” But it’s all constructed. In cuckolding, the real power lies with the checkbook of the guy who pays to set it up. It’s like real life: No matter what, the white guy wins. There’s a telling moment in “Donald Gets His Balls Clipped” where Sterling addresses the women: “I bought you all things! You should be sucking my dick, not his dick!” This is the exquisite anguish of the cuckold—total chaos, his own possessions turning against him. A nightmare scenario where financial capital doesn’t equal sexual capital. But it’s just a nightmare. You wake up when the porn is over—or when the hired bull leaves your bedroom. The cuckold never really relinquishes control. If you’re the kind of white guy who is obsessed with black men as symbols of terrifying primitive sexuality (on a subconscious level, pretty much all of us are), then renting a black guy to bang your wife is similar to buying a basketball team. At the end of the day, porn Sterling gets his nut, and his real world counterpart gets $2 billion. Dogfart, meanwhile, has offered Stiviano $250,000 to appear in a porn film. Imagine the male porn star’s race and Sterling’s dismay when he sees the video. Would he jack off? With pleasure, I’d imagine.

But what about my measly boner? After watching the porn parody, I slink into a public bathroom and jack off, hoping to purge myself of the images burning a hole in my brain. I can’t help it. I was born this way.

Follow Ezra Marcus on Twitter.