Mutt Power!

This mutt got an arrow right through his head and was up and about playing fetch the next day. True story. Photo from AP

Nazis are always flipping out about race mixing and how bad it is. They say it’s going to make us all one big homogenous blob and it will be the end of culture blah blah. The truth is that less than 1 percent of white Americans marry outside their race. The question is, Why? What’s so bad about mixing? Just look at dogs. Purebreds have weird hips and fucked-up noses, while mutts that look like they should have been named Rags get sick like once in their life—when they are old and ready to die anyway. Animals are genetically designed to mix. We all are. It’s called “the opposite of inbreeding.” Biologists and geneticists had this idea over a century ago. It’s called “hybrid vigor,” and it’s the theory that crossbreeds are heartier because they have a lot more plasticity in their genome—their genetic diversity is precisely what makes them stronger. I know Hitler is probably doing barrel rolls in his grave right now, but the logic is pretty hard to avoid. There are countless examples of inbred societies, island populations, populations that are isolated geographically in Africa, where because of inbreeding you have a greater chance of harmful genes taking over the whole frickin’ scene. Or take a look at the Ashkenazi Jews, who have a really high incidence of Tay-Sachs disease because they only screw each other. If they would just screw some goyim once in a while, they wouldn’t be so prone to sickness. Why are we so surprised that an inbred gene pool gets all murky and gross? You need some fresh water in there once in a while to flush out the pond scum. Plants outbreed it all the time—that’s why you have bugs that move pollen for hundreds of miles. So that you can get cross-pollination from a wide variety of sources. Of course, this isn’t a full-on guarantee. It isn’t like a Briton who marries a Brazilian is definitely going to have a kid who is smarter, prettier, and cooler than the kid made by a Scottish villager marrying someone from the same tiny town. The odds are pretty good though. We all have distinct genotypes and a lot of our genotypes are shaped by our lineage. Mixing particular genotypes can lead to some pretty great things. Like, if you want to try and produce a human who has a huge predilection toward alcoholism and an amazing ass, then mating a Scottish guy and a Brazilian would be a great idea. She might not be the smartest girl in the world but she’d be a lot of fun on Fridays and Saturdays. PATRICE IBARRA