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One of eBay’s many sweaty sock hawkers.The weirdness of legwarmer porn, however, isn’t as overtly creepy as sweaty socks and pedal pumping. In fact, it’s kind of the opposite—dudes who are into legwarmers seem obsessed on an Etsy-scale with cuteness and softness. “I prefer when they just bunch up at the ankles, leaving the cute feet exposed ;)” confessed a leg warmer lover I found on Reddit’s r/Feet. Another confessed that “if legwarmers look soft and the feeties are peeking from under it, I just can’t hold myself.” Yet another told me that, “Depending on the color, they can make feet look sexier, like a bright orange, for instance.” You can almost hear them squealing over thread counts.In my last attempt to really get into the heads of leg warmer filth fans, I turned to the novelist Sam Lipsyte, whose book on post-collegiate loserdom, Home Land, is centered on a guy who spends his days trolling the internet for pictures of women wearing semen-splattered leg warmers. Why did he choose these stupid socks as his protagonist’s erotic fixation? “Flashdance meant a lot to me,” quipped Lipsyte, “Though I’m more directed to the knee.” Well, at least he doesn’t jack off to sock puppets.
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