Michael Holden's Deleted Scenes - Idiot Boxing

It’s a law of emotional physics that events appearing innocuous to some are inflammatory to others, and vice versa. Older viewers may recall English cricketers touring South Africa in the 1980s referring to anti-apartheid protests as “just a lot of singing and dancing”. Conversely, I recently ate Chinese food within earshot of a man convinced that the National TV Awards are a pernicious, covert and consciously constructed piece of psycho-political propaganda. You make up your own mind. Man #1: [unable to eat - such is the depth of his disdain] “It’s just so fucking depressing.” Man #2: [not looking up, mouth full] “Don’t watch it.” Man #1: [not listening] “They had those Army Wives on there, singing, and then there’s a film of these blokes jumping out of tanks. Everyone applauds…” Man #2: [livening up] “You see them doing 'Heroes’ on The X Factor last year – with all the troops?” Man #1: [shaking head] “I heard about it.” Man #2: “It’s on YouTube.” Man #1: [reliving his trauma] “Then Bruce Forsyth comes out, does the whole, ‘Is this on?’ thing with the mic. You just think – what the fuck? Is this really how it works?" Man #2: [comfortable with his own wisdom] “’Course it is. What else you watching?” Man #1: [in the manner of one who has already admitted to many heinous crimes and whose punishment cannot meaningfully be extended further] “Celebrity Big Brother.” Man #2: [genuinely surprised] “That’s still on?” Man #1: “Yeah. They’re just… scum.” Man #2: “Do you not feel you should be doing something else with your time?” Man #1: “Yeah, but what?” Man #2: [getting back to his dinner, seemingly sincere] “Fuck knows.” How terrible indeed is wisdom, when it brings no profit to the wise.

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Previously: Michael Holden's Deleted Scenes - Gatecrashing the Cat Porn Party