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Cry-Baby of the Week

This week: stupid Christian versus pageant girl's daddy!

It's time to LOL at some people who are scared of the world!

Cry-baby #1: Mamie Sonnier

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The incident: A school installed palm scanners in their cafeteria to make the lines move faster.

The appropriate reaction: Nothing.

The actual reaction: Speaking to her unbelievably low-budget looking local news channel, concerned parent Mamie Sonnier threatened to pull her children out of school.

Mamie says she is against the use of the palm scanners because of her beliefs: "As a Christian, I've read the Bible and, you know, go to church and stuff and I know where it's going to end up coming to; the mark of the beast, and I'm not gonna let my kids have that." This is a view that, apparently, a lot of parents share.

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Unfortunately, she doesn't really back up this theory with any additional evidence. Which is a shame, because I'm sure it would have been HILARIOUS. I guess she is making the connection based entirely on the fact that the mark of the beast, and the palm scanner involve hands? I really, really have no idea.

The school principal, to his credit, managed to make it through his entire interview without once just staring into the camera, slowly shaking his head and saying "What the fuck?" Which, rarely for this column, is a pretty impressive achievement. Give that man a raise.

Cry-baby #2: Bill Verst and his court-appointed psychologist

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The incident: A woman dressed her daughter as Dolly Parton. Complete with a fake ass and some stuffed boobs.

The appropriate reaction: Taking an adorbs picture.

The actual reaction: The girl's father, Bill Verst, has asked a Kentucky court to grant him sole custody of the daughter, claiming that she was sexually exploited by being allowed to dress so provocatively.

Her mother Lindsay claims that the costume was never meant to be sexual, and that she dressed her in it because: "When she wears the fake boobs and the fake butt, it’s just like an added extra bonus and it’s really funny when she comes out on stage and everybody thinks it’s hysterical.”

Which, to me, seems kind of a weird way to spend your time, but reasonable. It's a funny costume. But judging by how angry everyone in the YouTube comments is about this ("and people wonder why more children are being molested… disgusting"), I think I might be the only one. It's not that weird, is it? Really?

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Who is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in the poll below, so they can live with the shame FOREVER.

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT

Previously: Mr Fuck Off vs Mrs Pukey Pants

Winner: Mr Fuck off!